 Written by: Betsy Karp
My entire family and I went to go see one of the last shows of “War Horse” at Lincoln Center in NYC. I’m not sure what all the hoop-la was all about. We found it very hard to sit through and six out of the eight of us really had a hard time keeping our eyes open. My mother and father managed to stay awake even though this was their second time seeing it. How they did that, I don’t know. So many people loved it. I found it to be painful and boring.
We went to go eat afterwards at P.J. Clarks and had the perfect table downstairs in the back. It was a round table with a red and white checkered tablecloth that sat all eight of us. I was telling everyone about the workshop I went to and how we were asked to name one thing or one person we were grateful for. Scott, the eldest grandson who adores my father, blurted out with great enthusiasm, “Papa, you are caring and generous and you always put everyone before yourself. There isn’t anybody that can say ONE negative thing about you. You are the most well rounded person I know and I love that!”
Marc, the youngest grandson, chimed in, “Papa, you are my role model and you give and give without ever taking. You are so generous, caring, hardworking and intelligent and you are the best grandfather I could ask for.“
My mom had tears rolling down her face and I saw my father’s eyes swell a little. My dad said, “See sometimes going to a bad show brings out the best in all. Thank you!”
My sister interrupted and said, “Wait! I have something to say. Thanks Dad for always being there. You are my friend, my mentor and my hero. I admire and respect you, and love you with all my heart. I am proud to be your daughter.”
So then it was my turn and I stated, “Dad you are Remarkable! You are the most devoted, dedicated and compassionate father, as well as the hardest working, honest, and warmest man I know. Actually, I think you are getting younger than older in your years and I adore you.”
All you have to do is meet my father to see what everyone is talking about. My Turkish friend Sumru recently met him and said, “your father’s warmth radiates from him and his being. He is even warmer and nicer than you described”.
My father has taught me so many invaluable life lessons and he is the one person I look up to and always want to make proud. He, in turn, makes all of us so proud and we are grateful that he is our Dad and Papa too!
Who are you grateful for in your life? Reach out and make that person feel great today too!
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 By: Betsy karp Happy New Year! Start it off with a gift to yourself. Pass these inspiring questions along to people you love. Whoever gets the most people to answer these questions under the comment section below and "like" my Facebook page, gets 20% off any program of their choice.
Rules:
1. Whomever comments below must put the full name of the person who sent them here at the top of their comment (yes, you and your answer counts as well).
2. Whoever likes my Facebook page must post the full name of the person who sent them there on my wall.
Take a few minutes today and fill in the blanks. See what you get. Don’t edit. Let these uplift and inspire you to be the best you and let 2013 bring you more of all of these wonderful things. Love is __________________________________________________ I’m grateful for __________________________________________________ I believe __________________________________________________ The world needs __________________________________________________ I hope for __________________________________________________ Life depends on __________________________________________________ Sex invigorates my __________________________________________________ Hold on to __________________________________________________ I crave some __________________________________________________ The moment is __________________________________________________ It’s time to __________________________________________________ Believe in __________________________________________________ Trust that __________________________________________________ My success depends on __________________________________________________ My appreciation is __________________________________________________
***Comment Below with your inspiring answers***
 Written by: Betsy Karp
It’s Christmas Eve and I hope you are all enjoying some wonderful eggnog, family, friends and holiday cheer. Tis the season to be jolly. Sing some carols and stay present…and enjoy the presents (pun intended).
If you get stressed out, wondering if you are giving the right gift, if you are drinking and eating too much or just being around “too much” family, take a minute for yourself and breathe. Let go and enjoy. Whatever will be will be.
Dress in something fun and festive. Wear red, green or hot pink. Red promotes passion, energy and confidence. It helps you to feel powerful within yourself. Green will help open your heart, letting you feel love and abundance. Hot Pink is playful and fun. It makes you feel like a child all over again.
Enjoy yourself. It’s Christmas. Focus on all the love that surrounds you instead of the problems that arise. I hope this holiday brings you lots of peace in your heart. Wishing you all lots of love and a great BIG holiday hug.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
You can never have enough hugs and kisses!
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 Written by: Betsy Karp
Six people, including myself, gathered together at the MOMA to see the film documentary Marina Abramovic: The Artist is Present. This movie explores Marina’s quest of staying present. I was drawn in right away, because the film captures an artist’s life. It portrays what it is like to live the daily life of an artist: the love, the devotion, the pain, the torment, the disappointment, the success and the freedom. She describes herself as the "Grandmother of Performance Art."
In Abramovic’s work, she explores the relationship between performer and audience, the limits of the body and the possibilities of the mind. Abramovic’s three-month performance piece at the MOMA is about staying present in the stillness. She sits in a chair with her body upright and there’s an empty chair opposite her. That’s it. Nothing else. There were millions of people that gathered to watch, sitting opposite her, to be part of her performance and the stillness. People cried as they gazed in amazement as well as in disbelief.
What truly got me was how her art and stillness brought out such deep emotion in others. Her stillness was a reflection of those that sat opposite her and encountered her presence. Staying present can have different meanings. What does staying present mean to you?
I have learned over the years to embrace stillness and enjoy the moment while staying present at the same time. All we truly have is the now, this very moment, and we seem to forget that. We would all be much happier if we just lived in the now. There would be less worry, mind chatter and negativity. Worry can drive you mad and half the time we worry for nothing. It’s a time and health killer. Being present and staying in the now forces us to be accepting of what is, good or bad, and this is what you call, “STAYING PRESENT.”
Just this past weekend, someone who I love very much was in deep emotional pain. She was having physical issues that have worn down her beautiful spirit. I held her in my arms as tears rolled down her face. Her tears and pain were so deep and I could feel it all. I held her tight in my arms while consoling, holding and loving her. I then broke her tears and made her laugh asking, “Please tell me how you have the most perfect eyebrows in the world?” ”I don’t,” she replied. She lifted her head and asked, “What can I do to stop this bad feeling?”
“Stay Present,” I replied. “It’s the only way to be. You will feel so much better. Let’s focus right now on what is here. You have your mom and me who love you more than life itself. We are here for you. You are loved and adored. All is good. You are safe. As you focus on the present moment in your life and things begin to shift, you will see that by staying present you can handle the moment and then the next moment will take care of itself.” “Wow. Thank you! I’ve never looked at it that way before. I’m starting to feel better,” she blurted out.
A few days later, I received a text from her saying, “I can’t tell you how happy it made me to see you the other night. I just wanted you to know that I was actually present for the first time today. I’ve been trying to live in the moment like you suggested and it’s really helping. I love you and I am so blessed to have you in my life.”
Staying present is a way of life. It clears away a lot of the pain we put upon ourselves. It amazes me how, when we shift our mindset while staying present, the simplest things in life can be enjoyable and even therapeutic. Being present is a gift. What are you going to do in your life today while staying present?
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 A few months ago I invested in a documentary called “Project: Forgive.” I discovered the project on Kick Starter, which is a crowd funding website for creative projects and exciting endeavors. The inspiration behind the project is a man named Gary. A few years ago he received news that his wife Judy and their children, 12-year-old Alex and nine year old Sam, were hit by a drunk driver and did not survive. Gary lost his loving family because of a tragic mistake. Shawne Duperon, the producer of “Project: Forgive” is a dear friend of Gary’s and the driver turned out to also be a friend of Shawne’s. His name is Tom Wellinger.
Gary found it in his heart to forgive Tom. This courageous act inspired Shawne to develop this project so that others could share and explore the power of forgiveness. I will be traveling to Los Angeles in December to see the screening of the Documentary.
Before traveling to California I needed to go to Connecticut to visit my father. I purchased a roundtrip ticket and boarded in Harlem on 125th St, heading for New Haven. My brothers were meeting me so we could see for ourselves how far gone he was. My sister had just flown to Paris and we updated her when she returned. My eyes hurt, my mouth was dry and tears were stalling in my throat.
I texted my husband to tell him I made the train but I was interrupted by distorted sounds of vibrational chanting in Arabic. I looked at the guy across the aisle and mouthed, “What is that?” He shrugged and looked around. I stood up, searched for the source and spotted an old man wearing a grey suit, squeezed between two sleeping women. His mouth was moving and he was holding a metallic device against his throat. There were no plugs in his ears. I don’t know if he was talking to himself, to the women, or simply praying. Devout Muslims often pray five times a day, but this was 10:30 am, long after sunrise.
This guy didn’t care who heard him. His prayers traveled through the train car all the way to Westport.
My daughter texted me as I was frantically searching for my pink headphones:
“Thinking of you Mommy, good luck with Grandpa today. I love you.”
I texted her back:
“Thanks sweetheart, I love you more!”
I was anxious, but I knew this visit had to be different. I tried to meditate, but praying felt more comforting.
Dear God:
Today I will accept everything that is presented to me. I am letting go of all expectations. I know in my heart that my Father loves me. I’m not going to judge him or question him. I don’t know if he’ll live another month, a year or whether even he cares. It doesn’t matters anymore. Maybe today he will understand that his children never stopped loving him. I miss him.
My brothers and I waited in the car for our father. In a distance we saw a frail Man limping with a cane. He looked so small, so fragile. When he reached the car I could feel his fear. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and make him well again. I hugged him and helped him into the front seat. He told us that his knees were in a great deal of pain (he usually has to ride on a scooter). The chronic alcoholism had wiped out all his vitality and belief in himself. Over the past twenty years there have been two interventions and family therapy, and my father has been in rehab three times. The week before my baby brother’s wedding, my Father spent the night in a half-way house.
During lunch my father recounted stories of our childhood. It was as if life stopped happening after 1995. I felt such love for my bothers as I watched them listening respectfully to him. We discussed difficult topics. My younger brother raised the question about my father’s wishes after he passes. He wants to be cremated; no service or memorial, unless, of course, we want to arrange that. The focus of this moment softened. As painful as it is to imagine my father gone, I felt held by my brothers and their ability to honor his wishes. The three of us were paying our respects to our ability to let go and begin again. We are no longer held hostage by how our father’s addiction has harmed or disappointed us. My intentions have changed. I forgive my dad and I have more room to love him.
Forgiveness is a tricky subject for all of us. It requires a great deal of maturity and the ability to let go. Personally, I have found that when I genuinely forgive, I feel a profound release and a feeling of grace. This deep letting go is almost a small near death experience. I am a new person and you are a new person. No more lacerating guilt, blame or stored resentments. Through forgiveness we develop a greater understanding of life and compassion for others as well as ourselves. The first step should be small and make sure you feel ready.
“Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.” --Rainer Maria Rilke.
***Please comment Below***
written by:
Jacqueline Stahl
 Are you stepping up to the plate in your life or are you procrastinating and slacking off? Do you find yourself overwhelmed and being too critical? Which way are you turning?
I just came from seeing Paul Lacoste’s documentary, “Step Up To The Plate.” It is about the renowned French chef Michel Bras and his son Sebastian, who is now in full command of Michel’s restaurant. It was a beautiful display of watching a father and son creating food that is truly an art.
Michel and Sebastian have a complicated relationship. Michel is quite critical of his son and is very much a perfectionist. He wants to teach his son his expertise in creating and preparing food, almost to a fault. The father insists that his son “step up to the plate” and do everything he can to perfect his craft. Sebastian tries to take it all in while having a sense of humor at the same time. He tells his father, as he stares at the plate he has prepared for him, “food is to be eaten, not stared at!“
Life is a combination of stepping up to the plate and doing all you can to be your best. It’s about taking action and responsibility for you, however, there has to be a balance in all that one does. If you are too critical, looking at everything so seriously, how can you enjoy your life?
Isn’t it time to step up to the plate, having fun at the same time? Enjoy what you do and enjoy your journey. Life’s too short for anything else.
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 Are you feeling uplifted lately or are you down in the dumps? Who do you turn to when you’re feeling kind of blue? Who gives you that support and lifts you up? We all need support and it’s really important to find people we trust and that we can turn to when we feel sad and blue. So whom are you reaching out to? Who is your support system?
I find that when I’m feeling kind of blue and sad, I can call my best friend and say, “Hey, can I bitch for a second?” And then I’m begging her to make me laugh, because there’s nothing better in the world than laughing. It breaks you out of depression and makes you happier. It works every time. You instantly feel better.
Writing down my feelings and emotions helps to get them out as well. It feels like a therapy session and it's a lot cheaper. Possibly try doing that and see how you feel. Don’t suppress the feelings. Get them out in some way, whether you walk, exercise or laugh with a friend. Once you air it, somehow you feel lighter.
Then there is a wonderful universal law to try. Once you’ve gotten yourself uplifted to a more positive place, share your positivity with someone who is down in the dumps. Reach out and give that person a helping hand or a phone call…just show that you care. One of the greatest gifts you can give to someone is reaching out and saying: “I care.” You’ll lift them up as well as yourself.
Take one day at a time. Try as much as you can to be in the moment. Try not to fast forward to next week’s business conference. It is amazing how just by focusing on the moment, everything will take care of itself. Music is magic, turn it on. It shifts your vibration and energy helping you to be more in the now. We need to crawl before we walk and walk before we run, so don’t be in a rush. Take it as it comes, but keep on uplifting your energy and moving yourself in a forward direction.
Just like Gandhi says, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” It all starts with you. Take that first positive step. Then give back and get involved in helping others and your community. Whether you are a woman or a man, help extend the chain that links all of us together to heal. This is what community means: to share, support, help and give back! You will feel so good to get involved. Just look at how many lives you will help! Now that is what you call being UPLIFTED!!!
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 "We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have. I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way. Let our scars fall in love.” --Galway Kinnell Relationships are in our every day lives from the people we work with, to the people we love, to our partners, to the man that serves us coffee. They make us stronger, they make us happy, they make us whole and at times they can make us crazy. Relationships take time, work and energy. They’re about being honest, being real, showing up, being kind and staying open. One of the greatest ways to create success in your life is through understanding that your work relationships are a way to build on trust, success, confidence and growth. We’ve all gotten so used to texting. So maybe the next time you want to text or email someone a message, pick up the phone and have a dialogue. Meet someone for breakfast or coffee and build on that relationship of how you want to grow your business, what you need to get out and say. Don’t take the easy way out. Be real, be open and show up in the “old fashioned” way. Communication is key! It takes time to build on trusting relationships. It takes persistence and courage for people to trust who you are and what your message is. This also takes a lot of clarity and patience. Relationships also mean building a relationship with YOU. Learn to adore yourself, be happy with YOU, because you need YOUR essence and YOUR energy to be with that special someone, to build that great company and to find all that you want. Many of my clients have reached out and asked me how to get their partner to start taking care of their health. “He’s not listening and he doesn’t care,” is what they’re telling me. This is actually a very touchy and delicate subject. How I believe you should approach this situation is to address the issues when you are doing something together, whether it’s having a lovely dinner, taking a walk or playing tennis, where the focus isn’t on, “this is what I need you to do.” How to approach this in an easy manner is, “Can we start taking daily walks together so we can both be healthy? Let’s cook some healthy meals together as a couple and learn how to make quinoa and share the experience.” By opening up and doing things as a couple and a shared alliance, you will hopefully see a shift in your partner’s attitude (as well as your own) and a wanting to change. See if this works, give it a try, do it with love, be soft about it and see how your partner reacts. Hopefully you can share all of the great results you will have. Are you happy in the relationship you are in right now? Are you giving it your all? Are you being kind and patient with your partner as well as yourself? Look inside yourself to find all of your strengths and your greatness so that you can share it with others. It all starts with the relationship with YOU. So adore yourself, give yourself compassion and THEN share it with someone you love. Relationships are what keep us sane and strong. Make them work. We’d be lost without them. *Please comment below and share with your friends.* Hugs, Betsy Karp, Founder of i adore me
 The unknown can scare us half to death, not knowing what to expect, what we’re going to have, where we’re going to be and how our lives will turn out. But if we knew everything in advance, we really wouldn’t be in existence; life wouldn’t be life and it would be a complete bore. Life is a constant evolution process. It’s learning to deal with and accept the unknown.
The other day I was feeling a little overwhelmed taking a look back at where my life had been and what I had done. When I looked back at the things I had achieved over the years (which I didn’t know about year ago), it made me feel great. I felt accomplished with a year of growth. All of a sudden I felt so much better and so much lighter. I realized, “how could I know the unknown right now?” It’s impossible. And this is where the adventure and fun should come in.
If we take the fear out of the unknown and look at it more as a new path, a new direction or an adventure (and it’s all a lesson anyway), life will show us the way. The path will be paved. As a friend always says to me, “life takes care."
I am starting to date again and open myself up to new possibilities of meeting new people, and everything is unknown: When are they going to call? What are they going to look like? Are we going to connect? Learning about someone new can be exciting if we let it. But if I don’t jump into the unknown with a positive attitude, how will I find that new, special person?
The late Steve Jobs once said: “If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.” I find this quote so true, because when we meet someone in life that just feels right, it feels like coming home. So don’t give up. Let the unknown be a good thing. Don’t give up on yourself and keep going until you find the person and/or thing you want. Your heart will know it when you find it.
Learn how to change your perception of the unknown, whether it’s relationships, starting a new job, your first speaking engagement or an audition. Look at the unknown as an awakening and an opening into a greater you. Let the unknown be your friend and keep saying yes to anything that comes your way. Be open, be ready and be willing to let the unknown become part of the known.
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 “We're getting so pulled in by computers and technology, and our kids have their face in the computers all day. The human relationship is being diminished by this.”
--Lenny Kravitz
My mother and I were on the train the other day and everyone was “connecting” to their iPods, iPhones, iPads, blackberry’s and computers. There was not one conversation being had, there was no interconnection between human beings…it was a sea of technology and it made me really sad.
For so many years I used to love getting on the train and sitting next to a stranger. Whoever would sit down next to me, we’d have a dialogue and start connecting about life, what they did and where they’ve been. HUMAN interaction.
I don’t know about you, but I certainly miss human contact. I think something is being lost in this whole new world of technology. Yes, it’s convenient and easy to get messages across, send emails, do business on line (such as what I am doing with i adore me), but as Barbara Streisand says in her song, “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.”
Are you burying your face and your life in your computer and your smartphone? I think more people care about their smartphones than they do their own bodies and lives. Start connecting to YOU. Reach out, meet a friend, have a live conversation, meet someone for coffee and connect in a human, natural way. We are, after all, animals and animals need connection by contact: human touch, laughter, gestures, energy and hugs.
I was in a restaurant the other day and someone sitting at the bar said to me, “I was so happy today at my job, because I had so many customers. I was busy. I had all of this wonderful energy. I made great contacts and had wonderful conversations. I sold the sh$t out of all the shoes on the sales floor.”
People give us energy. It feeds on itself and it’s a great feeling. Connect to that feeling and see how great and energized you will feel.
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
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