Written by: Jacqueline Stahl
Across the street from my childhood home lived my first Mentor. She and her husband Morris drove a rusted red Volkswagen bus from Seattle to our little rural town in Connecticut in the late 70's. I babysat constantly for their two daughters and fed their flea loving cats when they traveled.
Lori taught me things that my mother wasn't experienced in. She introduced me to yoga, meditation, vegetarian cuisine and the dangers of deodorant. I watched in awe as she breast-fed her infant. She chewed apples, pears and bananas while spitting it out into her hand to feed her children.
Lori made delicious organic peanut butter and lit incense while espousing the healing benefits of massage. This Hippie Earth Mother didn't bother with fast food, body odor, bras or bikini waxes. She really didn't care what anyone thought about her, because she never seemed to judge anyone herself.
One day I caught my brothers spying on her from our front yard behind a tree as she sunbathed in the nude. She knew. She didn't care. She was free. I envied her. I could tell her anything. She believed in me.
Lori was filled with esoteric information and philosophical perspectives about relationships, Buddhism and love and I was her enraptured student. When her daughters were asleep I would tip toe into Lori's Bedroom and pull the Joy of Sex off the shelf and gaze at all the sensual positions and intimate lovemaking techniques. My heart pounded and my thighs were on fire as I memorized each page. I was physically very inexperienced, but mentally the seeds were deeply planted for my future escapades. I was building and dreaming my own mystical foundations of love and passion. I definitely struggled with my Catholic upbringing and the fear of God visiting me during my research:
“Thou shall have pure thoughts Jacqueline
and thou shall abstain from premarital sex! Amen.”
I devoured her books on Creative Visualization, Sexual politics, Our Bodies Ourselves and my favorite, Love, by Leo Busgaglia. I wasn't content with hugging the periphery anymore. My curiosity was ravenous and I began asking uncomfortable questions. Lori patiently listened and honestly answered.
I was no longer struck motionless inside my adolescent mind and body. Perhaps my new confidence was borrowed at age 14, but I was encouraged to wake up and stretch and I'm still stretching and opening my mind and my heart. Thank you Lori!
Love and Light,
*Please Comment Below*
Enjoy this video. I hope it inspires you as much as it inspires me.
Here is part two for the i adore me class I am teaching to 11 & 12 year old children for Citizen Schools. Through this course they are learning how to adore themselves, how color can impact their emotions and what that means for their community. The following are six short blogs by some of the students. They were asked what their passion is, what their favorite color is, how their passion and their favorite color makes them feel aWnd how they will use these things to support their community. The lesson here was to teach them how to express themselves through words. It’s interesting how a child’s mind works. We can learn a lot from them! They don’t edit themselves. I hope you enjoy their answers as much as I do:
Written by: Mansur Usman
My passion is that I want to be an artist to get money and play basketball. My favorite color is yellow. The reason why I pick that is because yellow makes me feel free and relaxed. The passion and the color makes me feel I am going to be a better person and be famous. I can use all of these to decorate my community and make it colorful. Or maybe the boys wants to play basketball or the girls want to be artists. And I could make my community a better place.
Written by: Leslie
My passion is counseling people. I love giving people advice. I’ve always loved giving advice. My favorite color is blue, because I love the way it makes me feel. It makes me feel secure. The way these things would help me support my community is that I could go do a big poster and I want it to be blue. I want the people to know that I’m creative…also what I’m capable of doing for my community. It’ll help them with their problems.
Written by: Merlin
My passion is to be a Marine. My favorite color is blue. It makes me feel safe and happy. I will help.
Written by: Marcel Daniel
My passion is being an artist and rapping. My favorite color is green, sage, because it makes me feel like I’m strong. I say it’s because my raps and drawings, and my color will change the world.
Written by: Mark Diaz
My passion is to play football and basketball. My favorite color is black. My passion makes me feel energetic. My favorite color makes me feel happy. A lot of people love black. I can also build football fields and basketball courts. They will be able to practice their dream.
Written by: Stephanie Porfil
My passion is playing Xbox Kinect. My favorite color is red and black. My favorite color makes me feel dark and bright. I will play games with kids who don’t have Xbox 360 to let them have fun.
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Founder of i adore me
"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are!" Joseph Campbell
Are you living your truth? Do you feel that you are truly being honest with yourself each and every day? What is it you can say about yourself that is “uniquely you?”
I believe that everyone has a true, special, unique gift to share with the universe. Most of us want to share something that we are passionate about or truly great at, but then we shy away with lingering doubts, continuously asking ourselves questions like, “Can I do this? Am I good enough? Do I have what it takes to make all of this work?” The answer is a BIG YES! But it takes guts, courage and a tremendous amount of persistence to make your special gifts a reality. Here is the thing one needs to ask oneself: “What can I do to serve?” It’s about this instead of what you will get.
There is only one you and you are worthy of happiness, doing what you love to do everyday. Embrace you, and learn to appreciate and love you. You have special talents and strengths that no one else on this planet has. It is your job, however, to find that gift. Follow your inner guidance, listen to your own spiritual GPS and be honest with yourself. Isn’t it time to get out of your own way, breaking down those walls of fear, isolation and shame, and start living your truth? Once you open up and let go, you will be amazed at what you see in your-SELF.
The biggest relationship we have in life is with ourselves. Yes, we may lucky enough to be loved and have parents, friends, lovers and children, but it is you that has to make your life work. You don’t need anyone’s permission but your own to make your dreams come true. What’s truly amazing is that once you step into your truth, you give yourself permission, you start to take action and the universe supports you. It has your back, door’s open, new opportunities arise and synchronicity begins to work it’s magic.
It took me a long time to truly believe in myself and to have the guts and courage to start “i adore me.” It was something that was inside of me, yearning to come out. I knew I had to do this. I needed to do it for me just as much as I needed to for others. It was learning to self–love and to take care of me with love and respect. It’s an evolving process as well as a daily journey.
At first I had my doubts and fears. So many people thought I was NUTS! Many people said to me, “Really Betsy, i adore me? No one can really say and mean that. It’s too hard. It makes people sound so full of themselves.” My reply was, “I adore me is about feeling self-complete, not self-conceit”. Again, people stated, “Just forget about it! It’s not going to work!” But I had a deep feeling within my gut that this was what I had to do. It is my calling and my truth. I listened to me. I was in alignment with my mind, body and soul and I didn’t have a choice.
It's amazing how three simple words, “i adore me,” can cause such a reaction within people. I am so happy now that I am persevering and sharing my message and vision with the universe. It is a gift to you to say and feel the words “i adore me.” I am thrilled that others want to share their truth and stories through their own blogs within the “i adore me” community. It’s about creating a movement of self-love. It’s a journey of self-exploration in finding all that is great about YOU, and building on that while sharing your gifts with the world.
So please share what is “uniquely you” about YOU, and stand in your true power…
Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Founder of i adore me
I am teaching a new i adore me coaching program to middle school students in the Bronx. There are a total of twenty-two enrolled in the class. As the students entered the room on the first day, all I heard was, “I really don’t want to be in this i adore me class. What is it anyway?” My heart dropped. I knew once I got them rocking and rolling they were all going to love it, however, it took a little longer than I thought. The kids were loud, unruly and they just didn’t want to listen. Then I took charge. I let go of the lesson plan and lived in the moment. I clapped my hands with a loud force and told the kids, “I have a personal story to tell you.” All of a sudden there was silence. Finally, I had their attention.
I began by telling them who I was and why I was here, as well as what I was going to teach them. I shared with them a personal story of when I was just eight years old and how I learned to oil paint. When I began the story there was silence once again.
“It was really late one night and everyone was sleeping. I crept downstairs while taking my colorful paints and all of my supplies. I stayed up all night painting and created a beautiful picture. I hadn’t even realized that so much time had passed. When it was almost light outside, I realized I had painted through the night. When you have a passion and you find something you love to do, you forget about time. My parents weren’t so happy with me the next day, because I was so tired. I didn’t want to go to school. My parents made me promise that the next time I wanted to paint I was going to have to do it after school or on the weekend…not on a school night. I agreed. I told them I loved to paint. It was my new passion.”
I continued to tell them about what I had done in my life so far and all of the companies I had worked for. When I mentioned Ralph Lauren, the kids screamed, “That is so wild, really you did?” They were mesmerized. I continued and told them that I even had my own line of clothes called Betsy Karp and I sold them in 75 stores. “Wow you are famous!” they yelled out. “Not really,” I replied. “I want all of you to know that we really should never stop learning in life. I went back to school to get a second degree in my early 40’s.” “WOW,” they said. “No teacher ever tells us his or her age. How old are you?” I said, “I am 48 years old.” With excitement, they said, “You are the coolest teacher EVER!!!”
The lesson for the class was based on Passion, “What is your passion? How can you make your passion a reality? What are two of your passions that inspire you to do well in school and why?” These were big questions for middle school students, but they were grasping it. It was incredible. They were eating this stuff up.
I had their attention and it was time to teach them about PASSION, so I asked a few students, “could you please tell me what your passions are? What do you like to do after school? What makes you happy and makes you feel good?”
One of the students blurted out, “I have so much passion, I love to play basketball, and volleyball. I am a great, cool dancer too! When I get older I am going to be the next Michael Jordan.”
Another stood up and said, “My passion is helping my mom make dinner. I love to cook. It makes me happy and I love that we get to eat what I make.”
Their answers were precious. They understood the lesson so well and what it means to feel and have passion. Maybe we should all take a look at how children view the world. They are so open, free and they live in the now.
So I ask you, i adore me readers, what is your passion? Are you living out your passions in your life today? Are you happy? Maybe it’s time to look back in your life and find that thing that turned you on way back when. There is no time like the present. Let these children inspire you. What are you waiting for?
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Founder of i adore me
Today YOU are writing this blog! I’m making YOU do all the work. For everyone who participates, I will give $10 off any session of your choice
. Comment below and write 3 things you are grateful for and one act of kindness you will do for someone else today. I’ll start:
1. I am grateful for my assistant
2. I am grateful for the emotional support from my family
3. I am grateful for my friend Miriam who volunteered to help me at my big event at the FOF Beauty Bash Act of Kindness:
I am packing up some of my old clothes to send to my friend in California who had all of her clothes stolen from her car while she was moving. (for a bigger challenge, do this for 21 days…it takes 21 days to make a change)
Betsy Karp Now You…
"We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have. I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way. Let our scars fall in love.”
Relationships are in our every day lives from the people we work with, to the people we love, to our partners, to the man that serves us coffee. They make us stronger, they make us happy, they make us whole and at times they can make us crazy. Relationships take time, work and energy. They’re about being honest, being real, showing up, being kind and staying open.
One of the greatest ways to create success in your life is through understanding that your work relationships are a way to build on trust, success, confidence and growth. We’ve all gotten so used to texting. So maybe the next time you want to text or email someone a message, pick up the phone and have a dialogue. Meet someone for breakfast or coffee and build on that relationship of how you want to grow your business, what you need to get out and say. Don’t take the easy way out. Be real, be open and show up in the “old fashioned” way. Communication is key!
It takes time to build on trusting relationships. It takes persistence and courage for people to trust who you are and what your message is. This also takes a lot of clarity and patience. Relationships also mean building a relationship with YOU. Learn to adore yourself, be happy with YOU, because you need YOUR essence and YOUR energy to be with that special someone, to build that great company and to find all that you want
Many of my clients have reached out and asked me how to get their partner to start taking care of their health. “He’s not listening and he doesn’t care,” is what they’re telling me. This is actually a very touchy and delicate subject. How I believe you should approach this situation is to address the issues when you are doing something together, whether it’s having a lovely dinner, taking a walk or playing tennis, where the focus isn’t on, “this is what I need you to do.” How to approach this in an easy manner is, “Can we start taking daily walks together so we can both be healthy? Let’s cook some healthy meals together as a couple and learn how to make quinoa and share the experience.”
By opening up and doing things as a couple and a shared alliance, you will hopefully see a shift in your partner’s attitude (as well as your own) and a wanting to change. See if this works, give it a try, do it with love, be soft about it and see how your partner reacts. Hopefully you can share all of the great results you will have.
Are you happy in the relationship you are in right now? Are you giving it your all? Are you being kind and patient with your partner as well as yourself? Look inside yourself to find all of your strengths and your greatness so that you can share it with others. It all starts with the relationship with YOU. So adore yourself, give yourself compassion and THEN share it with someone you love.
Relationships are what keep us sane and strong. Make them work. We’d be lost without them. *Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Founder of i adore me
The unknown can scare us half to death, not knowing what to expect, what we’re going to have, where we’re going to be and how our lives will turn out. But if we knew everything in advance, we really wouldn’t be in existence; life wouldn’t be life and it would be a complete bore. Life is a constant evolution process. It’s learning to deal with and accept the unknown.
The other day I was feeling a little overwhelmed taking a look back at where my life had been and what I had done. When I looked back at the things I had achieved over the years (which I didn’t know about year ago), it made me feel great. I felt accomplished with a year of growth. All of a sudden I felt so much better and so much lighter. I realized, “how could I know the unknown right now?” It’s impossible. And this is where the adventure and fun should come in.
If we take the fear out of the unknown and look at it more as a new path, a new direction or an adventure (and it’s all a lesson anyway), life will show us the way. The path will be paved. As a friend always says to me, “life takes care."
I am starting to date again and open myself up to new possibilities of meeting new people, and everything is unknown: When are they going to call? What are they going to look like? Are we going to connect? Learning about someone new can be exciting if we let it. But if I don’t jump into the unknown with a positive attitude, how will I find that new, special person?
The late Steve Jobs once said: “If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.” I find this quote so true, because when we meet someone in life that just feels right, it feels like coming home. So don’t give up. Let the unknown be a good thing. Don’t give up on yourself and keep going until you find the person and/or thing you want. Your heart will know it when you find it.
Learn how to change your perception of the unknown, whether it’s relationships, starting a new job, your first speaking engagement or an audition. Look at the unknown as an awakening and an opening into a greater you. Let the unknown be your friend and keep saying yes to anything that comes your way. Be open, be ready and be willing to let the unknown become part of the known.
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Founder of i adore me
There really is only one thing in life that we all look for and that’s called L-O-V-E. We want to be loved, adored and know that our lives matter.
I was recently at an event where Deepak Chopra spoke. He said, “If I can leave you all with one thing today, it’s to look for the love within yourself and the love for your special partner. Really the only thing that matters is love. We all think we want success, fame and money, but when it all comes down to it, we really all want love.”
If you start thinking about all the movies, songs, books, Shakespeare, etc., it’s all about love. Are you building walls or bridges with that love? If you start to look at your life and what you want, you can begin to open up your heart, open up your mind, expand your being and let go of the walls, the pain, the hurts, the disappointments, and start building the bridge to love.
Love is kind, love is patient, love is understanding, love is pink
, love is compassionate, love is your friend. Are you its friend? If you haven’t made friends with love, try using pink today. Pink is the universal color for LOVE. It’s happy, youthful and sweet and it makes you smile. It’s associated with the 4th chakra (the heart chakra). Pink brings out that inner child in you that makes you feel like you can do anything. Let it empower you so you can feel free like you did as a child. Try eating some fresh watermelon, raspberries, pink grapefruit and organic salmon.
When someone is in love, you can see it a mile away. They have that pink glow
in their face, they are smiling from ear to ear and it’s as though they are floating on clouds.
So if you feel blocked and trapped in your life right now and everything feels bleak, r
each out for pink. When you start adoring yourself and taking care of you, you become a magnet. People want to be around your energy. Find the love within you and start showing the world all that you’ve got. Love is the answer. Don’t you agree? *Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Founder of i adore me
I truly love this saying, because I believe it with all my heart. Probably the greatest gift in life you can give yourself is the gift of never giving up: believing that you have something incredibly powerful and wonderful to give to the world. No matter how weird, funky or out there it seems, it’s usually something great. But it all comes down to your beliefs and moving through the naysayers, saying really loud to the world: “YES, I can do it!”
Last week I was listening to Lisa Nichols (from The Secret
) on the internet. She was preaching, “Winners never quit and quitters never win” from her whole being! She was telling her personal story about how so many years ago she was down and out on her luck, broke and didn’t know which way to turn. Then she started showing up for herself, planting seeds and believing in herself. She got out of her own way, creating her dreams. Today, Lisa is taking her company public and speaking all over the world. She is a true example of “winners never quit and quitters never win.”
What is it that YOU want to achieve in your life? Maybe you want to learn a new language. Maybe you want to be a great Broadway star. Maybe you want to write a book. Find out what that passion and true calling is for yourself
. Work on you. Believe in you. Indulge in you.
Find your true purpose.
As the Greek philosopher Plutarch says, “What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” It’s time to give yourself a Life Design Makeover.
Invest in yourself to find out what you really want to do with your life and get the support you need on this journey. Make your life over and learn to say, “i adore me!
” Trust me, you won’t want to quit, because you’ll discover that you are a winner too. *Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Founder of i adore me