Written by: Betsy Karp

Starting something new is very challenging and can be a test of your resiliency. It takes a lot of belief, patience, faith and a really big dose of courage. ORANGE is the COLOR of courage and it is all around me right now. My screen saver is a bright ORANGE and I’ve been eating so many ORANGE foods filled with beta-carotene and healthy nutrients, giving me that internal boost.

Sometimes, in the darkest of times, when you just want to give up is when you have to be your strongest, telling yourself it's going to be OK and to take it Step-by-Step. Let go of the control and release it to the universe. Trust that there is a higher calling and a greater good, and that the universe has your back. It’s a step-by-step process of putting one foot in front of the other.

Taking action and doing something everyday is what gets you results, and I mean EVERY DAY action. It can be the littlest thing like answering an email that you have been putting off. JUST DO ONE SMALL THING EVERY DAY!

By taking action we learn, we grow and we adjust. It’s in the doing that progress occurs. Don’t wait to make it perfect. Just do it and make adjustments as you go. As we move the universe moves with us.

Fear pushes us to move forward. Without fear we wouldn’t grow or do very much. We need some fear in our lives, but the key is to embrace our fears with love. This is when the breakthroughs and the “ah ha” moments happen.

Life is a process. It is about building and taking that step, after step, after step, and not giving up even when you want to. It’s the small steps that get us to where we want to be. Without them we really can’t move forward. Let and allow the feelings to come up and know that LOVE is the only way you want to be.

Each step and movement feeds on the next. Sometimes it takes a really long time to get there. Everything comes in the right time and in its divine order if you keep moving forward Step-by-Step.

So how do we find love for ourselves and get out of fear? It’s about taking a deep breath and getting calm within. It’s about letting go of the ego and the perfectionism of how it’s all going to end up. It’s learning how to just be and accept all that is in this precious moment. Unleash the negative, bratty voices and focus on the positive. Make that call you have been putting off for days (maybe even weeks) and connect with an old friend or business associate. Ask for help and support. Just do ONE thing!

People can’t read your mind and know what you need. Reach out and ask someone for help. It’s amazing how everyone wants to help if they can.

I have been connecting with so many people and asking for help in the last few weeks. I am amazed at the synchronicity of it all. For example, I am about to launch my i adore me Kids Program. With this on my mind, I bumped into someone today I hadn’t seen in years. Her husband, also a friend, is in the NYC school system. How perfect is that? Everything comes in the RIGHT TIME, so I decided to reach out and ask for his help. I now have an appointment with his son’s principal to discuss my i adore me Kids Program. Now, none of this would have happened if I didn’t pay attention to the signs, reach out and make that call, asking for help and being open to connect. Life is about giving and receiving. Be in the moment and make it happen.

Connecting and sharing our life and love with others helps us to feel and find the love within us. It's good to be vulnerable. It's real. Be the authentic you. Don’t be afraid. Get out of your own way and share: connect and communicate, and do it all with LOVE…Step-by-Step. Now doesn’t that feel better?!

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Have a Colorful Day,

Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me

               Written by: Jacqueline Stahl

Side orders just for your enjoyment...
Stories of the Unfaithful...

For two years I led a woman's group focused on love stories, fulfilled and unrequited. The women shared the pain of their affairs, their lover's affairs and the prospect of ending what they thought was the real thing.

The boldest woman in the group was an actress in her early 30's, newly engaged to a shy and talented artist. Her daily schedule was earmarked for workouts, acting classes, therapy, and writing poetry. The group was formed shortly after her mother died of stage four lung cancer. Each week she arrived late, her face powdered with grief and her mouth firing nonstop about the unfairness of life. The other women didn't wilt under her feisty commentary about the "ugly bitches" she met at auditions and the vast amount of alcohol she put away on every shift.

They let her rip until she cried. After one of these emotional breakthroughs, she shared a story of a man that came into a hotel restaurant where she waited tables. He was from Florence, worked for a clothing retail company and traveled to New York every month for one week. Her description of him wasn't flattering, but his shortage of hair and his below average command of English didn't discourage her from venturing into danger.

Over the next few weeks, the women in the group leaned in as she read his emails and texts.
Everyone, including myself was captivated by this foreign Man.

He promised her, "I will wait for you till my last breath." He wrote that he fell in love with her laugh and beautiful eyes. "Do you accept my true sweet words?" He swore, "If I do not honor this divine and powerful force I may as well die. Ciao Bella un bacio!"

One of the women who had recently moved in with her girlfriend laughed out loud: "You have to sleep with him, you don't want his divine death on your conscience."

With every opinion and reflection shared, no one said "end" the  relationship. Instead, they encouraged it. Everyone in the group remarked on how much happier she seemed and how radiant she looked.

The little Italian man continued to court her and plan cultural excursions on his days off. They went to the Met, the MOMA and drank champagne at the Peninsula. He planned to take her sailing in Croatia and Italia. Yet, they still had not consummated the relationship.

The fair skinned and provocative Violinist in the group told everyone that this little man was "poetically inserting himself into her life so he has something to look forward to. She's a safe bet, she's engaged, and looking for a distraction from her unsuccessful existence." Then she mumbled, "he probably has a really small..."

The lunging happened first and then a real fist and face slapping fight broke out in my 300 square foot office. Screaming, hair pulling and the C word vibrating off the walls.

"That is enough!" I shouted louder than I ever have in my life. "Sit down and don't say a word until I am finished. This group was not created so we can sit here week after week formulating judgments about one another. We are here to actively listen and genuinely share our lives with each other. We don't always agree with each other, because our personal experiences inform the way we analyze and perceive each moment. Feeling compelled to blatantly hurt or undermine someone is not only unproductive, it is cruel. We are also here so we can safely make mistakes and then apologize and move forward. Let's begin again."

The violinist stood up and walked over to the chair where the actress was sitting and reached out her hand. "I behaved like a little $h!t and I'm sorry. I think I'm jealous of you. You are engaged to a nice guy and you have this International unrequited love affair going on. I have such a boring life and I'm angry at myself...not you. I didn't mean what I said."

The actress nodded her head and said, "He does have a really small..."

The group roared and we were out of time.

Ciao Bellas,
Jacqueline Stahl

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Written By Steven Goldsmith

I have recently begun a process I started 6 years ago, awakening my inner-creative child. There have been many ups and downs along my creative path, and in recent years, much more downs than ups. Because of these downs, I fell into a deep, dark, disassociated sleep. Where was I to go and how would I wake up from this nightmare?

9 weeks ago was my breaking point…literally and figuratively. I had been pushing myself so hard that the universe decided to step in and break my ankle. This forced me to be with myself, be with my thoughts and give up control. I am a control freak by nature and not being able to do anything for myself was maddening. So why did this “break” happen? I just couldn’t figure it out.

Then, out of the blue, a friend reminded me of a process I began 6 years ago that I never completed, and it sparked something in me. It was “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron, a 12-week process with lots of writing, exercises and self-reflection. I got through 6-weeks 6 years ago (how appropriate is that?), but couldn’t move past it. I am now on week 3 and loving where it’s taking me.

What I’m getting out of it this time is more awareness. I’ve grown as an individual in my artistry, but the vicious monsters in my head have grown in kind.  Somewhere along the line I lost my spark, my drive, my passion and my dreams. Somewhere along the line I lost ME. And now that ME is waking up from this nightmare, I see more possibility than I ever did before. There’s a deeper drive pushing me forward. I know that if I commit myself to this full 12-week process, I will be even stronger than I would have been had I completed it the last time.

I believe everything happens for a reason…good and bad! I am supposed to be on the journey I’m on right now, broken ankle and all. Someone wise (Betsy Karp) once told me that a broken bone represents something that is stuck in your spirit that needs to break free. This whole process has taught me that this is completely true. I needed a “break” from the direction my life was taking me.

It’s strange to think that something so painful could turn out to be so graceful and poignant. It made me stop and appreciate my friends, my family and my dog. It’s made me appreciate the life I’ve created for myself and the love and support that surrounds me. It’s made me be grateful for the clothes on my back, the roof over my head and the food in my refrigerator. Without this break, I don’t know that I would have given myself the gift of beginning “The Artist’s Way” again. Without this break I don’t think I would have appreciated all that I am. Without this break I don’t think I would have given myself the love and support that only I have the power to give me.

Now I’m not recommending you go out there and break your ankle, but it’s definitely a reminder that something seemingly horrible can turn out the be the best thing for you. Who would have thought that this “break” would remind me how important I am? As each day passes I appreciate and adore myself more. As I break through more and more layers of my slumber, I awaken to a much more loving world. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to truly say and FEEL “i adore me,” and because of this accident, now I can. What could be a better gift than that?

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Are you coming from an ego driven place in your life? Are you looking at others and what they have achieved, feeling like you don’t compare, you haven’t done as much and you knock yourself down? It’s really important to look to others for empowerment and see what they’ve created and achieved but not to compare you to them. When we let go of our egos and come from a place of love, we start moving forward in our lives.

Creating something new is exciting and can be very challenging. When you have to stand in your own power and believe in what you are doing and saying 24/7, it can become daunting at times.

The other day I was feeling overwhelmed, looking at other spiritual healers’ and coach’s websites. I got down on myself, feeling like I’m not achieving enough and said, “Why am I not where they are?” Then I realized what I was doing.This is about serving and helping others and I realized that even if I'm helping just one person right now, I'm adding value to people's lives. So I stopped listening to my ego driven voices and realized how critical I was being with myself. All of this negativity was getting me nowhere and was hurting me. I can’t expect to be where they are in their careers after their many years of doing marketing and promotion and getting out there on a larger platform. I just recently started to believe in myself in a bigger way and have been getting clearer and clearer with the message of “i adore me.” Not only is “i adore me” a healthy way to loving yourself, but an exploration of getting out of your own way. It’s about being the best that you can be at that place you are in your life at this present moment in time. All we have is the present and we have to accept this with graciousness and patience.

It’s really important to find your own voice and trust in yourself. Yes, you will have trials, tribulations and setbacks, but if you are going to believe in what you say, you’ve gotta put it out there in your own special way. Comparing yourself to others only starts to make you feel weaker, and that’s where the ego comes into play. If you drop the ego and start focusing on what YOU are great at and what YOU have to offer, action starts happening, movement starts to begin and results occur.

Keep focusing on you. You can do this by surrounding yourself with the color orange. Orange brings about creativity and courage. Wear something orange, feel yourself connected to the color and start eating orange foods such as carrots, butternut squash and pumpkin seeds. Fall is in the air and it’s the perfect time to make delicious, homemade pumpkin muffins. So go out and pick some pumpkins, bring them home, share them with some friends, carve them, make something healthy and enjoy the harvest of Fall.

All of this ORANGE positivity will make you feel great about yourself, making you realize that YOU have something wonderful to share with the world. So stop comparing yourself to others and find all the greatness in you.

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Hugs,

Betsy Karp,

Founder of i adore me