 Written by:
Betsy Karp,
The COLOUR COACH
A friend recently wrote this to me in an email. See if it applies to you as well:
"Ah! WHY are we doing all that we are doing??
Now THAT'S a question to ask oneself! I often ask myself that same question and the answer often is...because I don't know how to get out of it! When that's not the answer, then the answer is often...because it needs to get done and no one else is going to do it!
The other question that I ask myself a lot is 'why am I NOT doing so many things that I used to do and enjoy?' Like yoga. And ballet. And reading The Sunday Times. I still don't have an answer for that one, except that...I'm doing everything else!"
Please participate below and comment with the answers to these questions:
What are you doing that you don't like to do?
What are you not doing that you want to do?
What's stopping you?
Is it you?
Is it your current life/situation?
Have a Colorful Day,
Betsy Karp,
The COLOUR COACH
Creator and Founder of i adore me
 Written by: Jacqueline Stahl
Side orders just for your enjoyment...
Stories of the Unfaithful...
For two years I led a woman's group focused on love stories, fulfilled and unrequited. The women shared the pain of their affairs, their lover's affairs and the prospect of ending what they thought was the real thing.
The boldest woman in the group was an actress in her early 30's, newly engaged to a shy and talented artist. Her daily schedule was earmarked for workouts, acting classes, therapy, and writing poetry. The group was formed shortly after her mother died of stage four lung cancer. Each week she arrived late, her face powdered with grief and her mouth firing nonstop about the unfairness of life. The other women didn't wilt under her feisty commentary about the "ugly bitches" she met at auditions and the vast amount of alcohol she put away on every shift.
They let her rip until she cried. After one of these emotional breakthroughs, she shared a story of a man that came into a hotel restaurant where she waited tables. He was from Florence, worked for a clothing retail company and traveled to New York every month for one week. Her description of him wasn't flattering, but his shortage of hair and his below average command of English didn't discourage her from venturing into danger.
Over the next few weeks, the women in the group leaned in as she read his emails and texts.
Everyone, including myself was captivated by this foreign Man.
He promised her, "I will wait for you till my last breath." He wrote that he fell in love with her laugh and beautiful eyes. "Do you accept my true sweet words?" He swore, "If I do not honor this divine and powerful force I may as well die. Ciao Bella un bacio!"
One of the women who had recently moved in with her girlfriend laughed out loud: "You have to sleep with him, you don't want his divine death on your conscience."
With every opinion and reflection shared, no one said "end" the relationship. Instead, they encouraged it. Everyone in the group remarked on how much happier she seemed and how radiant she looked.
The little Italian man continued to court her and plan cultural excursions on his days off. They went to the Met, the MOMA and drank champagne at the Peninsula. He planned to take her sailing in Croatia and Italia. Yet, they still had not consummated the relationship.
The fair skinned and provocative Violinist in the group told everyone that this little man was "poetically inserting himself into her life so he has something to look forward to. She's a safe bet, she's engaged, and looking for a distraction from her unsuccessful existence." Then she mumbled, "he probably has a really small..."
The lunging happened first and then a real fist and face slapping fight broke out in my 300 square foot office. Screaming, hair pulling and the C word vibrating off the walls.
"That is enough!" I shouted louder than I ever have in my life. "Sit down and don't say a word until I am finished. This group was not created so we can sit here week after week formulating judgments about one another. We are here to actively listen and genuinely share our lives with each other. We don't always agree with each other, because our personal experiences inform the way we analyze and perceive each moment. Feeling compelled to blatantly hurt or undermine someone is not only unproductive, it is cruel. We are also here so we can safely make mistakes and then apologize and move forward. Let's begin again."
The violinist stood up and walked over to the chair where the actress was sitting and reached out her hand. "I behaved like a little $h!t and I'm sorry. I think I'm jealous of you. You are engaged to a nice guy and you have this International unrequited love affair going on. I have such a boring life and I'm angry at myself...not you. I didn't mean what I said."
The actress nodded her head and said, "He does have a really small..."
The group roared and we were out of time.
Ciao Bellas,
Jacqueline Stahl
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 Written by: Katie Cohen
Everybody expects their first kiss to be this monumental moment when gravity miraculously stops and you find yourself floating above the ground and gasping for air. Who even decided that it was supposed to be like that? I never understood the appeal.
Getting swept off your feet inevitably ends in a painful fall and having your breath taken away is a guaranteed trip to the emergency room. For a close friend of mine, it literally was a trip to the hospital, but not because she was gasping for air. Rather, because she woke up the next morning with a small bump on her lip after some eighth-grade stud took her kissing virginity. When her dermatologist quickly diagnosed this nasty little thing as a flat wart, my friend was sent home with a very strong cream to apply on the affected area before bedtime.
Less than 24 hours later, I received a call from a panicking teenager who insisted that her lips had tripled in size. When I entered my friend’s apartment with a sympathy tub of rocky road ice cream, and got my first glimpse of her blowfish lips, I realized that her mini tantrum was completely justified.
Another week went by, and the lip swelling only got worse, and was eventually accompanied by spiking. It was discovered that the severe reactions were side effects from the cream that was being used to treat the flat wart, which turned out to be a pimple according to the results of the biopsy. This cream that destroyed my friends mucosal membrane (particularly her lips) and compromised her good health is now recognized as extremely hazardous to the human body and is prescribed with great caution by doctors. More recent medical research has shown that the strong concentration of harmful chemicals in the formula can be “criminally dangerous” when applied to specific areas.
Unfortunately, so many of the ingredients in body and skincare products we use daily contain ingredients that are identical to those in the cream that my friend applied to her “wart”. Some of them are Paraben based, meaning they contain chemicals like Methylparaben, Propylparaben, IIsoparaben, Butylparaben. Phthalates are additional chemicals that should be avoided at all costs. It is outrageous that there are only minimal efforts made to expose the important truths behind the products we use, and even more astonishing that the majority of the products do more harm to us than they do good.
Our skin is a major player in our first line of defense, constantly fighting off harmful bacteria and toxins that our bodies come into contact with every day. So while we all want soft, clear, and youthful looking skin, we sometimes fail to remember that keeping our skin healthy has greater benefits than those at the aesthetic level! It is important to treat it with the proper care that it deserves by introducing treatments into our cleansing regiments that keep our skin clean without a toxic solution. It is counterproductive to clean your face with products that only contaminate your skin more in the end!
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 Written by: Katie Cohen
 Written by: Betsy Karp I was invited to “Ingredients for a Beautiful Life,” a cocktail and conversation hour at the Dara Lamb Atelier. It was an interesting evening, combining 2 of the greatest “life changers” for today’s high–profile women. The evening featured Dara Lamb who custom makes made-to-measure wardrobes for executive professional women, and Dr. Jingduan Yang who combines Western medical techniques with Traditional Chinese medicine to address health, beauty and aging issues for both women and men. They served wonderful hors d’oeuvres, but my favorite was the pear ginger tea. It was tasty and so soothing on the freezing night that it was. It was all of 10 degrees that evening, and instantly I felt the hot tea warm me up and calm me down. The two lovely Chinese women serving the tea were wrapped in pink komodo jackets, the color of unconditional love. They were a perfect representation of the color pink: gracious, lovely and filled with warm love. Both speakers talked about what they do, their passions and why they do it. The message from both was, “When you feel good, you look good, and when you look good, you feel good.“ Haven’t you ever bought a suit or a dress that just fits perfectly? You are comfortable and at ease in your body and you love the way it moves & how you feel in it. Perhaps it is the perfect color for you, enhancing your skin tone and eyes. Every time you put it on everyone seems to compliment you. It just makes you smile and feel good. That is when you know you have bought the right garment. Sometimes it pays to invest in something that fits right. Dara spoke about how many of her successful clients come back to her and praise her clothes for getting them that perfect job, relationship or having the perfect outfit for that special occasion. It’s how you FEEL in them. Remember, color has energy and will affect your mood and those around you, so use color thoughtfully. Dr. Yang spoke about how we must all learn to clear out our negative thoughts, patterns of worry and self doubt so that we can allow ourselves to feel good. He emphasized how we must take care ourselves from the inside and then focus on healthy habits, exercise, good nutrition and color on the outside. And let me tell you…as soon as he mentioned color, did my ears perk up! Dr. Yang said, “ Color raises your vibration and energy helping you to feel and look good.”
Keep on using your feelings as your emotional guide through your life. Ask yourself what feels good to you! Go and do it, stay present and remember when we feel good, we look good! So how do YOU feel? *Please comment below and share with your friends.* Have a Colorful Day, Betsy Karp, Founder of i adore me
 Written by: Katie Cohen
I just watched The Little Mermaid. Sprawled across the living room floor, I imagined that my legs were a beautiful green tail, gleaming against the ocean’s seabed. My short blonde bob had transformed into spaghetti length locks of fiery red that danced and twirled as I swam toward my father’s antique leather chair, which closely resembled King Tritons throne. Suddenly, the sky cast a dark shadow over my ocean, inviting the evils of the sea to emerge from their hiding places and to create the most violent storm. King Triton told me that if I could make my way across the ocean without stepping on any sea urchins, or without swimming into any dark holes, that the storm would vanish. However, if I failed to follow his advice, the angry storm would strengthen and destroy my entire sea world.
For several days, I did everything in my power to avoid the sea urchins and dark holes that King Triton warned me about. Whether I was playing the role of Ariel in The Little Mermaid or just being Katie, I still had an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that something terrible was going to happen if I didn’t listen to the king. Eventually my six-year old Disney fantasy and my reality became interchangeable, and stepping over sea urchins manifested into the exhausting obsession of jumping over the street cracks of downtown Manhattan. This was my first experience with anxiety. Of course, I did not understand the significance of my neurotic rituals at the time or that I was becoming controlled by my thoughts.
Thoughts. The very things that allow us to create, to grow, and to distinguish ourselves as individuals. However, when fueled by anxiety, they reveal their destructive nature, often leaving people crippled and enslaved by their irrational thinking processes. Fortunately, as the masters of our minds, we have a choice. We can allow ourselves to be consumed by our fears or we can conquer them before they conquer us. While it’s easier said than done, it is possible. Take it one day at a time. Today, I will choose to step ON the street cracks.
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 Written by: Katie Cohen
 Written by: Betsy Karp
What are you NOT doing right now that you WANT to do? Procrastination is more fear based than anything else: fear of failure or fear of success. It’s amazing how you can do everything under the sun than do the thing you truly want to accomplish.
You can make an entire day out of errands and find five hundred things to do (laundry, going to a movie, naps, etc…), but you aren’t sitting down to complete that one specific goal. Maybe by putting some Orange in front of you, it will inspire your courage and creativity. As soon as you see the color orange it will raise your vibration into a positive state. You can also eat some orange foods like carrots and pumpkin squash. These foods give you energy. They have a lot of beta-carotene, vitamin A and vitamin C.
Ask yourself, “What is it that I really need to do and get done?” An easy way to help you in this process is to find an accountability partner. Find someone who will give you tough love and make you accountable, not someone that will lick your wounds. When we are accountable to someone other than ourselves we feel responsibility and we don’t want to dishonor our commitment to our partner and ourselves. This will help you with one stage of procrastination.
The second stage is about being disciplined. Make a schedule and find 30 minutes to work towards your goal each and every day. Persistence is what you need here. If you make this pact with yourself and honor it, everything starts to fall into alignment. Before you know it you will have completed the process.
So I’m really curious…what is it that you are going to do? Don’t procrastinate. Take charge, take action and surround yourself with orange. Let the courage and creativity of the color empower you to move forward. Aren't you ready to really start this new year?
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 Written by: Jacqueline Stahl
On the second morning of the New Year I woke up at 5:58 am and turned off my iPhone alarm, set for 6:10am. I listened to my husband breathing and my dog Shadow's breathing from across the room. I listened deeper and heard the faint sound of the television, so I knew my daughter must have fallen asleep on the couch. I closed my eyes and listened to my thoughts to see if they were any different from my 2012 thoughts.
They were.
I didn't start to lose myself in the obsessive mental lists of: “should I take a 6:30 cycle class or meditate in the living room before walking Shadow? Did I empty the dishwasher? When is my Amex bill due? I didn't look at my iCalendar or check my emails or text messages.” I didn't project any catastrophes or doubts in myself.
I kept my eyes closed and stayed with the stillness. I felt the warmth of my pillow and comforter. When I watched my thoughts fast forward to 2015 and then to 7:45 am, I pressed PAUSE and smiled quietly to myself. All I have, all I need and all I want is right here. As I savored the last few minutes of repose, I thought of what I could do to make the world a little better this year. How could I contribute?
My mornings will be different and perhaps everyone should try to begin their days with a different intention.
Start each day with a positive intention and let it guide your day and your practice, getting really clear about your motivations and how your love is the most powerful vehicle in the world. Act for the good of others. Break a bad habit and this includes all the senseless mind chatter that causes hours of anxiety.
Letting go of perfection and anger can create a shift and make a subtle and profound difference in all of our lives.
Happy New Year!
“To see far is one thing; going there is another.”
--Brancusi
Love and Light,
Jacqueline Stahl
*Please Comment Below*
 By: Betsy karp Happy New Year! Start it off with a gift to yourself. Pass these inspiring questions along to people you love. Whoever gets the most people to answer these questions under the comment section below and "like" my Facebook page, gets 20% off any program of their choice.
Rules:
1. Whomever comments below must put the full name of the person who sent them here at the top of their comment (yes, you and your answer counts as well).
2. Whoever likes my Facebook page must post the full name of the person who sent them there on my wall.
Take a few minutes today and fill in the blanks. See what you get. Don’t edit. Let these uplift and inspire you to be the best you and let 2013 bring you more of all of these wonderful things. Love is __________________________________________________ I’m grateful for __________________________________________________ I believe __________________________________________________ The world needs __________________________________________________ I hope for __________________________________________________ Life depends on __________________________________________________ Sex invigorates my __________________________________________________ Hold on to __________________________________________________ I crave some __________________________________________________ The moment is __________________________________________________ It’s time to __________________________________________________ Believe in __________________________________________________ Trust that __________________________________________________ My success depends on __________________________________________________ My appreciation is __________________________________________________
***Comment Below with your inspiring answers***
 Written by: Sutton Schuler
I am social, but very much so on my terms. My independent nature can turn day in and day out, relationships into work. Although I love hosting a cocktail party, attending an intimate dinner, or just making small talk with the older couple sitting at the bar, I noticed I was declining invitations left and right.
And lets face it; there are those very chilly late December nights that are not conducive to going out, especially after a long week of work. The last thing a lady wants to do is rush home to change, powder her nose, and re-heat a curl in her hair. And this was just the case last December when I found myself on the phone with my mother, complaining about having a dinner invitation and lacking the energy. She simply said, “Oh Sutton, just say yes and have fun!”
And with that, I bit the inside of my cheek, mixed a stiff drink, and committed to the required stages of primping. I figured a fun hairdo, along with the gin, would be a sure fire way to get me excited. Well it failed, and I was late to dinner.
But within five minutes of walking in the door, I was into another drink and in deep conversation with new and old friends. In between stories I sat back in my chair to observe the room. And at that moment I had to smile at myself for being so happy when just an hour earlier, I was dead set on a date with my pajamas and a movie.
It was one of those moments when I realized that at this point in my life, I will practically never say “yes” to something I would regret (except for that extra martini). Whether it is dinner with friends, a long run in the park, or a trip to Brooklyn, I decided to just say “yes” to everything.
Once I made the conscious decision to do so, I realized just how often I was saying “no”. My inner loner personality never wanted to commit to anything, because heaven forbid I would rather be doing something else, even if it was nothing at all. But at the end of the day, it is
Written by: Sutton Schuler
 Written by: Jacqueline Stahl
Dear Madonna,
Merry Christmas! Truly! May this be the most spectacular Christmas you have ever had. I hope when you reach down inside your monogrammed, burgundy, velvet stocking, you find even more love just waiting for you to pull into your life.
You gave me the gift of your voice in 1986, and this year you gave me the most profound of all gifts. You showed me, and all Women all over the Globe, that we can keep dancing, singing and creating as long as we damn well please.
I will twirl, grind, sashay and sing in the subway, in elevators, taxis and at Weddings I'm not invited to. No-one is stopping me- EVER! I'm dancing, right now, in front of the guys making me my Smoothie!! They're smiling!
Madonna, keep on reminding the world that our light never has to dim. It can shine brighter at 71 than it did at 17. It might be softer, but it lights the way every day. It is clear that you are a confident and a deeply committed artist, and you're focus is exceptional. You adore yourself, and in turn, you show others they can do the same.
As we watch our daughters grow, we can give them this gift everyday. Let's show them that our Light and Love can grow deeper every year. Thank you for sharing your Love, your Music and your Infectious Energy with the world!! Take a bow.
Love,
Jacqueline Stahl
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