 Written by: Betsy Karp
I was one of the speakers at the Joie De Vivre Circle I’ve been going to for years now, and I love them. They are intimate gatherings at lovely women’s homes on Fifth Avenue. I met Edwige Gilbert there five years ago. She’s the woman who started the circle back in 2001. She is charming and I adore her French accent. Over the years she has become a very dear friend. When I walked in, she said, “Betsy, let’s change the format this evening. Instead of us speaking to the group one-on-one, let’s bounce off of each other and see where it goes. Are you on board?” I said, “Yes!”
It was a wonderful forum of conversation, letting go and just being in the moment. We were a great complement to each other, bouncing back and forth with our stories and powerful words. Sometimes the best things happen when we don’t plan and expect everything to be perfect. Perfection! What a word. And if you’re not careful it can destroy you.
For so many years I wanted to have everything perfect in my world, but now the word perfect to me means that everything is perfect just as it is. I look at my life through such a different lens. I‘m not about getting or making things perfect. I am just being me and showing up, and it feels really great.
Edwige went around the room asking everyone one to share an experience about someone they love and how that experience had an impact on them. It was so real and everyone opened up, speaking from their hearts.
A lovely gentleman in the group turned and said,“ Well here is my share. I was away on a trip with a very dear friend. I carry many of my business cards with me and I hand them out to anyone I meet. My good friend, who is a psychologist, turned to me and said, ‘Why in the world are you wasting those cards on people who probably will just throw them in the garbage after tonight?’ So I said, ‘I believe that it’s better to share the love and give the cards than to have them sit in a box in your house to collect dust.’ ‘Thank you for that…you are so right. I will start giving them out. I can’t thank you enough for that message.’”
One woman said, “I gave my daughter a magic wand many moons ago and I told her that the wand had three attributes and they are:
1) This wand will be your very own fairy godmother
2) It will work if you want it badly enough
3) AND It will work in it’s own time.
To this day my daughter says, ‘Mom, that wand was invaluable. You were so right, because it all does work out in it’s own time. Thank you!’”
We all chimed in with, “WOW, I wish my mother had given me a magic wand.”
Everyone has a story and I love the one of the magic wand. I am going to get my own magic wand and let it work it’s magic in it’s own time. How about you?
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
I found this beautiful video on YouTube. It is an inspiration to me. There is a famous poem by Oriah Mountain Dreamer entitled, "The Invitation," and it is incorporated in this video below. It was uploaded onto YouTube by CreativeRain. I invite you to not only watch this video but read the poem underneath the video. I hope it inspires you as much as it inspires me!
Hugs,
Betsy Karp
The Invitation
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Canadian Teacher and Author
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."
It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
© 1995 by Oriah House, From "Dreams Of Desire"
Published by Mountain Dreaming, 300 Coxwell Avenue, Box 22546, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4L 2A0
 Written by: EDWIGE GILBERT
Henry Ford once said, “Whether you believe you can or you believe you cannot, you are right." Fortunately the choice is yours. Unfortunately it is a very hard one to make. Let me tell you why. Most of the time you are not conscious that the decision you want to make has anything to do with embedded beliefs operating in your mind. There are two kinds of them, which I have named self-serving and self- sabotaging. The self-serving beliefs make you feel courageous, confident, happy and assist you in achieving your goals. On the other end, the self-sabotaging beliefs make you feel anxious, insecure and literally attack your self esteem and self confidence. In light of this awareness, if you feel good about yourself, are successful and in charge of your life, you have been blessed with the productive kind. No need to change anything, just make sure you show gratitude for your life and for all the people who live in it.
Let’s discuss now about what beliefs are and are not, and how you can make them work for you and become victorious. You see, a belief is just a thought that you hold to be true. That thought can trigger an emotion, which in turn can influence you to take an action, and it all ends up with a result. Let’s review this sequence again. There is a thought, followed by an emotion ending with an action and a result. It is a very important sequence to remember and not to take lightly, since the outcome may not always work to your advantage. That is the issue indeed. When you keep repeating the same unwanted sequence and getting the same result, you might want to stop and reflect for a moment. What is truly going on here? The problem might have to do with a thought which you hold to be true. What if you decided to challenge this belief and to question whether it is true or not? What about if you replaced your old belief? I promise, simply asking these simple questions can alter the course of your life in a very dramatic way.
Let me tell you my story:
As a little girl in the South of France, I was raised by a grandmother who believed that I was fragile and needed protection. Anytime I would venture out and try something new, I would hear “You cannot” and it would stop me immediately. Over time, with hundreds of repetitions of “I cannot,” I began to believe it so much that this phrase became my password, my worst companion. Even after I left grandmother and moved to the United States, I could still hear her voice deep inside my head, repeated anytime I wanted to show my courage and venture into the world. Not only did I feel I was cursed, but I also became very shy, without an ounce of self confidence, a true basket case. Maybe you can relate to my story or simply understand that it is meant to illustrate how a sabotaging belief can highjack your entire life. Ironically you start to believe that you are trapped. No matter what you try to accomplish, you return to the same place, to the same uncomfortable feeling over and over again. You are caught between your desire to take a positive action moving you forward, and your insidious belief holding you back. "Am I going crazy?" you ask. Are you doomed to remain a victim? Are you part of a Greek tragedy? I assure you it is none of the above.
Whether you have been struggling with your weight, hesitating to change careers, contemplating going back to the gym or giving up finding your significant other, the answer is the same. It is a three step solution.
The first step and most crucial one is to become aware. What I mean is to have the courage to reflect on your life and to trace back to the origin of your recurrent and uncomfortable feelings which are connected to your sabotaging beliefs. Let me warn you, from my experience, most of the time you will end up in childhood, which is when you will need to be kind, forgiving to yourself and others. Just know that you did the best you could. It was not your fault. You did what you were taught and the people in your life did their best as well with what they believed.
The second step of this transformational process is to imagine yourself free of the old belief, feeling confident, passionate unstoppable, moving forward towards your desired goal. To create this experience, begin to make vivid and compelling pictures of the New You that you project on your mental screen, see all the details of the person you desire to become and believe that you are worthy of feeling this way.
Step three is to declare your victory, as you immerse in rehearsing your role in this happy story. Then, when you feel you are at the peak of this emotional experience, take a deep breath and declare out loud “Victory to me, Victory is mine”. Believe that the seed of the New You has been planted and use repetition to ensure the creation of this new long lasting conditioning.
One important recommendation: be patient and be kind to yourself. It is believed that it takes a minimum of 21 days to install a new behavior in the subconscious mind. Be aware that some of those beliefs can be very tenacious, since they have been with you for a very long time. Whenever during the day you feel the unwanted feeling showing its face, simply make a fist with your right hand, take a deep breath and repeat silently to yourself three times in a row “Victory to me ,Victory is mine”. I promise it will activate the memory of your new experience and of the New You.
***Voila, give it a try and let me know your story!***
Merci,
Edwige
"We are not what happened to us, but what we choose to become"
--Edwige
Right now I have a lot of hope in my heart. I have hope for our country. I have hope that we can move forward as a united nation now that the election is over. I have even more, positive hope that President Obama will do what he set out to do 4 years ago. I have hope that my dreams and my passions of i adore me’s success will come to fruition. I also have a deep hope and courage within myself to keep going, never giving up. What do you have hope for?
Please enjoy this video. I hope it will inspire you as it has in me…
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 "The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are!" Joseph Campbell
Are you living your truth? Do you feel that you are truly being honest with yourself each and every day? What is it you can say about yourself that is “uniquely you?”
I believe that everyone has a true, special, unique gift to share with the universe. Most of us want to share something that we are passionate about or truly great at, but then we shy away with lingering doubts, continuously asking ourselves questions like, “Can I do this? Am I good enough? Do I have what it takes to make all of this work?” The answer is a BIG YES! But it takes guts, courage and a tremendous amount of persistence to make your special gifts a reality. Here is the thing one needs to ask oneself: “What can I do to serve?” It’s about this instead of what you will get.
There is only one you and you are worthy of happiness, doing what you love to do everyday. Embrace you, and learn to appreciate and love you. You have special talents and strengths that no one else on this planet has. It is your job, however, to find that gift. Follow your inner guidance, listen to your own spiritual GPS and be honest with yourself. Isn’t it time to get out of your own way, breaking down those walls of fear, isolation and shame, and start living your truth? Once you open up and let go, you will be amazed at what you see in your-SELF.
The biggest relationship we have in life is with ourselves. Yes, we may lucky enough to be loved and have parents, friends, lovers and children, but it is you that has to make your life work. You don’t need anyone’s permission but your own to make your dreams come true. What’s truly amazing is that once you step into your truth, you give yourself permission, you start to take action and the universe supports you. It has your back, door’s open, new opportunities arise and synchronicity begins to work it’s magic.
It took me a long time to truly believe in myself and to have the guts and courage to start “i adore me.” It was something that was inside of me, yearning to come out. I knew I had to do this. I needed to do it for me just as much as I needed to for others. It was learning to self–love and to take care of me with love and respect. It’s an evolving process as well as a daily journey.
At first I had my doubts and fears. So many people thought I was NUTS! Many people said to me, “Really Betsy, i adore me? No one can really say and mean that. It’s too hard. It makes people sound so full of themselves.” My reply was, “I adore me is about feeling self-complete, not self-conceit”. Again, people stated, “Just forget about it! It’s not going to work!” But I had a deep feeling within my gut that this was what I had to do. It is my calling and my truth. I listened to me. I was in alignment with my mind, body and soul and I didn’t have a choice.
It's amazing how three simple words, “i adore me,” can cause such a reaction within people. I am so happy now that I am persevering and sharing my message and vision with the universe. It is a gift to you to say and feel the words “i adore me.” I am thrilled that others want to share their truth and stories through their own blogs within the “i adore me” community. It’s about creating a movement of self-love. It’s a journey of self-exploration in finding all that is great about YOU, and building on that while sharing your gifts with the world.
So please share what is “uniquely you” about YOU, and stand in your true power…
Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 I am teaching a new i adore me coaching program to middle school students in the Bronx. There are a total of twenty-two enrolled in the class. As the students entered the room on the first day, all I heard was, “I really don’t want to be in this i adore me class. What is it anyway?” My heart dropped. I knew once I got them rocking and rolling they were all going to love it, however, it took a little longer than I thought. The kids were loud, unruly and they just didn’t want to listen. Then I took charge. I let go of the lesson plan and lived in the moment. I clapped my hands with a loud force and told the kids, “I have a personal story to tell you.” All of a sudden there was silence. Finally, I had their attention.
I began by telling them who I was and why I was here, as well as what I was going to teach them. I shared with them a personal story of when I was just eight years old and how I learned to oil paint. When I began the story there was silence once again.
“It was really late one night and everyone was sleeping. I crept downstairs while taking my colorful paints and all of my supplies. I stayed up all night painting and created a beautiful picture. I hadn’t even realized that so much time had passed. When it was almost light outside, I realized I had painted through the night. When you have a passion and you find something you love to do, you forget about time. My parents weren’t so happy with me the next day, because I was so tired. I didn’t want to go to school. My parents made me promise that the next time I wanted to paint I was going to have to do it after school or on the weekend…not on a school night. I agreed. I told them I loved to paint. It was my new passion.”
I continued to tell them about what I had done in my life so far and all of the companies I had worked for. When I mentioned Ralph Lauren, the kids screamed, “That is so wild, really you did?” They were mesmerized. I continued and told them that I even had my own line of clothes called Betsy Karp and I sold them in 75 stores. “Wow you are famous!” they yelled out. “Not really,” I replied. “I want all of you to know that we really should never stop learning in life. I went back to school to get a second degree in my early 40’s.” “WOW,” they said. “No teacher ever tells us his or her age. How old are you?” I said, “I am 48 years old.” With excitement, they said, “You are the coolest teacher EVER!!!”
The lesson for the class was based on Passion, “What is your passion? How can you make your passion a reality? What are two of your passions that inspire you to do well in school and why?” These were big questions for middle school students, but they were grasping it. It was incredible. They were eating this stuff up.
I had their attention and it was time to teach them about PASSION, so I asked a few students, “could you please tell me what your passions are? What do you like to do after school? What makes you happy and makes you feel good?”
One of the students blurted out, “I have so much passion, I love to play basketball, and volleyball. I am a great, cool dancer too! When I get older I am going to be the next Michael Jordan.”
Another stood up and said, “My passion is helping my mom make dinner. I love to cook. It makes me happy and I love that we get to eat what I make.”
Their answers were precious. They understood the lesson so well and what it means to feel and have passion. Maybe we should all take a look at how children view the world. They are so open, free and they live in the now.
So I ask you, i adore me readers, what is your passion? Are you living out your passions in your life today? Are you happy? Maybe it’s time to look back in your life and find that thing that turned you on way back when. There is no time like the present. Let these children inspire you. What are you waiting for?
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 Today YOU are writing this blog! I’m making YOU do all the work. For everyone who participates, I will give $10 off any session of your choice. Comment below and write 3 things you are grateful for and one act of kindness you will do for someone else today. I’ll start: 1. I am grateful for my assistant 2. I am grateful for the emotional support from my family 3. I am grateful for my friend Miriam who volunteered to help me at my big event at the FOF Beauty Bash Act of Kindness: I am packing up some of my old clothes to send to my friend in California who had all of her clothes stolen from her car while she was moving. (for a bigger challenge, do this for 21 days…it takes 21 days to make a change) Hugs, Betsy Karp Now You…
 The unknown can scare us half to death, not knowing what to expect, what we’re going to have, where we’re going to be and how our lives will turn out. But if we knew everything in advance, we really wouldn’t be in existence; life wouldn’t be life and it would be a complete bore. Life is a constant evolution process. It’s learning to deal with and accept the unknown.
The other day I was feeling a little overwhelmed taking a look back at where my life had been and what I had done. When I looked back at the things I had achieved over the years (which I didn’t know about year ago), it made me feel great. I felt accomplished with a year of growth. All of a sudden I felt so much better and so much lighter. I realized, “how could I know the unknown right now?” It’s impossible. And this is where the adventure and fun should come in.
If we take the fear out of the unknown and look at it more as a new path, a new direction or an adventure (and it’s all a lesson anyway), life will show us the way. The path will be paved. As a friend always says to me, “life takes care."
I am starting to date again and open myself up to new possibilities of meeting new people, and everything is unknown: When are they going to call? What are they going to look like? Are we going to connect? Learning about someone new can be exciting if we let it. But if I don’t jump into the unknown with a positive attitude, how will I find that new, special person?
The late Steve Jobs once said: “If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.” I find this quote so true, because when we meet someone in life that just feels right, it feels like coming home. So don’t give up. Let the unknown be a good thing. Don’t give up on yourself and keep going until you find the person and/or thing you want. Your heart will know it when you find it.
Learn how to change your perception of the unknown, whether it’s relationships, starting a new job, your first speaking engagement or an audition. Look at the unknown as an awakening and an opening into a greater you. Let the unknown be your friend and keep saying yes to anything that comes your way. Be open, be ready and be willing to let the unknown become part of the known.
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 Our sense of self worth means everything. What is worthiness? Do you feel worthy or unworthy? Do you believe that worthiness is something you attain or innately have? I believe that worthiness is something very deep-seeded within you. It is a self-assured confidence in who you are, what you are and what you believe. If you don’t believe in yourself, how can someone else believe in you? “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?” This quote by Hillel really sums up that we must take care of ourselves in life. We must believe in who we are without being completely selfish or caring only about our own needs. We must embrace and include others in our universe and in our world. I went to see the new documentary Diana Vreeland. It is about a woman who knew her worth. She was not beautiful herself, yet she evoked it. She knew who she was and what she wanted out of life. She stated, “If you know what you want out of life you make it for yourself.” I loved her bravado and how she had such an incredible sense of self worth. Her confidence was over the top. In the film she says, “I am not a fashion editor, I am THE fashion editor!” When we are clear about what we want for ourselves, that is when we can ask the universe for all that is ours. Now please don’t mistake this with arrogance, because that is so NOT cool. It’s a true confidence that will give you that wonderful sense of self-worth. As I was walking home from the theater there was a beautiful pink satin bow lying right in front of me. I looked around thinking that some sweet girl just lost that bow right out of her hair, but no such luck. I picked it up and took it as a sign of self-love and self-worth from the universe. Pink is the color of unconditional love. It was such a beautiful symbol reminding me to value my own self–love and self-worth. It came at a perfect time, because I was having one of those not so loving days. We all have them and that is okay…I’m human and so are you. Self -worth starts with really simple things. For instance, when something good happens to you or someone says something kind to you, do you say “thank you” with graciousness or do you refute it (an example of refuting would be: “You look great today”…”Oh no, I feel lousy”)? Learn to appreciate yourself, accepting compliments that come your way. This is the start of a process of feeling your own worth. Ask for what you need and believe that you are worthy of all that you want. Look within yourself. Practice acceptance and say to yourself over and over again, “I AM WORTHY of all the good that is coming into my life.” Every single person in this universe is worthy of prosperity, abundance, compliments and acceptance. Own your own self-worth, feel good about all that you are and share it with the world. You are worthy! I hope you know that! *Please comment below and share with your friends.* Hugs, Betsy Karp, Founder of i adore me
 Are you coming from an ego driven place in your life? Are you looking at others and what they have achieved, feeling like you don’t compare, you haven’t done as much and you knock yourself down? It’s really important to look to others for empowerment and see what they’ve created and achieved but not to compare you to them. When we let go of our egos and come from a place of love, we start moving forward in our lives. Creating something new is exciting and can be very challenging. When you have to stand in your own power and believe in what you are doing and saying 24/7, it can become daunting at times. The other day I was feeling overwhelmed, looking at other spiritual healers’ and coach’s websites. I got down on myself, feeling like I’m not achieving enough and said, “Why am I not where they are?” Then I realized what I was doing.This is about serving and helping others and I realized that even if I'm helping just one person right now, I'm adding value to people's lives. So I stopped listening to my ego driven voices and realized how critical I was being with myself. All of this negativity was getting me nowhere and was hurting me. I can’t expect to be where they are in their careers after their many years of doing marketing and promotion and getting out there on a larger platform. I just recently started to believe in myself in a bigger way and have been getting clearer and clearer with the message of “i adore me.” Not only is “i adore me” a healthy way to loving yourself, but an exploration of getting out of your own way. It’s about being the best that you can be at that place you are in your life at this present moment in time. All we have is the present and we have to accept this with graciousness and patience. It’s really important to find your own voice and trust in yourself. Yes, you will have trials, tribulations and setbacks, but if you are going to believe in what you say, you’ve gotta put it out there in your own special way. Comparing yourself to others only starts to make you feel weaker, and that’s where the ego comes into play. If you drop the ego and start focusing on what YOU are great at and what YOU have to offer, action starts happening, movement starts to begin and results occur. Keep focusing on you. You can do this by surrounding yourself with the color orange. Orange brings about creativity and courage. Wear something orange, feel yourself connected to the color and start eating orange foods such as carrots, butternut squash and pumpkin seeds. Fall is in the air and it’s the perfect time to make delicious, homemade pumpkin muffins. So go out and pick some pumpkins, bring them home, share them with some friends, carve them, make something healthy and enjoy the harvest of Fall. All of this ORANGE positivity will make you feel great about yourself, making you realize that YOU have something wonderful to share with the world. So stop comparing yourself to others and find all the greatness in you. *Please comment below and share with your friends.* Hugs, Betsy Karp, Founder of i adore me
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