 Written by: Edwige Gilbert
Every year on December 31st, people all over the world make New Year’s resolutions. Millions of people wake up thinking, “This is the day I am going to do things differently!” They yearn for a new beginning and hate themselves when, after a few weeks, their resolutions fail.
Why do they fail? Because in trying to bring about change in their lives, people reach for the only tool they think they have: willpower, forcing themselves to change. Most often, unfortunately, the will fights back…and wins.
Look at dieting for example. In America, about 109 million dollars are spent on dieting and on diet products every day (Us department of Health and Human Services). Nearly two thirds of Americans are overweight. 25 percent of American men and 45 percent of American women are presently on a diet. Sadly, only 5 percent will lose the weight and keep it off.
What is wrong in the picture? Why is it so difficult to change?
Change is only possible when we begin to understand that it is futile to willfully struggle against our habitual patterns of behavior. You see, we are creatures of habit. Our mind does anything it can to keep us in our comfort zone, away from the unfamiliar and the uncomfortable. This is known as the ”pain/pleasure principle,” which is being experienced when the mind automatically moves us away from pain and toward pleasure and ease. When we tell ourselves, “I should go on a diet,” “I must…," or "I have to...,” immediately, our minds perceive it as painful and react by effectively stopping us from making our desired change. In other words, it is the mind’s protective mechanism that seeks to return us to our comfort zones, even when that acquired comfort zone is unhealthy and potentially harmful in the long run.
So what are we to do? Are we doomed to remain prisoners of our unwanted habits and behaviors? Not at all. The secret is to make our minds enjoy what we desire to change.
Change your focus and you shall change your reality. Simply choose to focus on your desired outcome, engaging the power of your imagination and of positive emotions. This means picturing having reached your desired goal, feeling good about yourself, feeling proud, in charge of your life again, liberated from the past and victorious.
It is strongly believed that the mind does not know the difference between what is real or just imagined. So take advantage of this, and begin to “think yourself changed!" The actual process is simple and is divided into three components:
First, develop a deep state of relaxation, called “Alpha,” an indispensable state to access the subconscious, which is also considered to be the only part of the brain where the seed for a new desired habit can be planted.
Second, in this peaceful state, get ready to project on an imaginary mental screen, which I call the “screening room,” all the vivid details of your new desired behavior. The more specific your visualization is the better. It will ensure the success of this practice.
Finally, in the last stage, remember to include powerful, positive words which I like to consider “declarations," that when repeated will not only create a hypnotic response, but will also, in the future, activate the memory of this joyful experience. The words I recommend to use are: “I choose to create this experience, I believe that I can, victory to me, victory is mine."
Be aware that repetition is critical to the success of the “screening room” practice. Neuroscience tells us that daily repetition for 21 days is what is recommended to create a new pathway to the brain, responsible for our new habitual pattern of behavior.
No doubt, this is powerful material to absorb and can be challenging at first. Realizing that transformation begins in our minds, knowing that thoughts create our destiny and that we have the power to become the master of our lives, can also be the ideal way to begin the year. For a change, prepare yourself to throw out the “gotta, oughts, should’s” part of your resolution, and instead decide to embrace the “I choose.. I desire... I can… I do...”. This will lead you to victory and success in your life.
 Written by:
Betsy Karp,
The COLOUR COACH
A friend recently wrote this to me in an email. See if it applies to you as well:
"Ah! WHY are we doing all that we are doing??
Now THAT'S a question to ask oneself! I often ask myself that same question and the answer often is...because I don't know how to get out of it! When that's not the answer, then the answer is often...because it needs to get done and no one else is going to do it!
The other question that I ask myself a lot is 'why am I NOT doing so many things that I used to do and enjoy?' Like yoga. And ballet. And reading The Sunday Times. I still don't have an answer for that one, except that...I'm doing everything else!"
Please participate below and comment with the answers to these questions:
What are you doing that you don't like to do?
What are you not doing that you want to do?
What's stopping you?
Is it you?
Is it your current life/situation?
Have a Colorful Day,
Betsy Karp,
The COLOUR COACH
Creator and Founder of i adore me
 Written by: Edwige Gilbert,
Author of the “Fresh Start Promise”
Dale Carnegie once said, “Fear does not exist anywhere but in our mind.”
Let’s consider this: If fear is just a figment of our imagination and does not exist anywhere else, how can we explain the devastating impact fear has on our health and in our lives?
I may have an answer for you. You see fear, unlike any other emotion, has a vital and basic function, which is to warn us against physical and emotional danger. To accomplish this purpose, fear activates the fight or flight response releasing toxic chemicals in our brain such as adrenaline. I can understand how useful this function may have been thousands of years ago, to warn the poor cavemen to fly or fight for their lives when attacked by a bear. But today, this function seems obsolete and yet, we are still experiencing its full impact. For example, we might just be giving a speech or showing up for an interview and all of a sudden we notice our heart pounding in our chest and our palms getting sweaty, while feeling panicky and confused.
I have a difficult time accepting that just because we are afraid, all of this can happen. Especially when I realize that practically everything we do in our lives is tinted with fear. As you already know, the list of fear situations is nearly endless: fear of sickness, poverty, rejection, the fear of aging, loneliness, and the fear of failure or even success.
What are we to do? Accept that we are prisoners of fear and allow it to dominate our lives and take away our freedom and joie de vivre?
I don’t think so and I hope you feel the way I do.
In the name of our liberation from the tyranny of our fears, I propose 3 steps that we can take to help us.
Step 1: Make fear your friend
What does that mean? Since we cannot escape or hide from it, why not choose to have fear as your companion on your new journey? After all, fear is just warning you that you are going through changes, and dealing with a new situation can be uncomfortable. Fear can also force us to be brave and develop strength of character. Finally, fear, when you are able to conquer it, can bring you such a sense of accomplishment, greater self-esteem and self-confidence.
To make this concept more alive, I propose that you imagine that you are a snake charmer from India wearing a saffron colored turban, sitting in a crossed legged position learning to tame the Cobra of fear, while hypnotizing him with the intoxicating music of the Pungi (a native bamboo wind instrument).
Step 2: Change your focus
Stop focusing on being afraid and start focusing on your desired outcome. It is believed that what you focus on expands and becomes your reality. Decide to focus on what you want to accomplish. Picture yourself having reached your goal feeling confident and victorious.
When dealing with a challenging situation, you can imagine yourself as a warrior, such as King Arthur if you are a man or Xena the warrior princess if you are a woman, holding a sword of fearlessness and wearing an armor of white light, protecting you from all fear and negativity.
Step 3: Be your inner coach
We all have a tendency to be too critical and judgmental about ourselves. We often feel deep down that we are not good enough. We secretly search for perfection, which creates a lot of pressure, fear and anxiety. What if we chose to be more loving and accepting of ourselves and decided to adopt the language of the heart which would ban the “cannot” and the “should’s,” and instead, embracing positive and empowering words?
To create this positive experience, bring your arms up in the air and declare, “Victory to me, Victory is mine” as you place a big smile on your face for appreciation and gratitude of this joyful moment.
I hope you will use these 3 steps on your journey of life. And everyday remember to welcome fear and make it your friend, to keep your mind focused on the wonderful things you desire to achieve in your life and most importantly, to stay loving, encouraging and supportive.
I would like to leave you with a final thought by Ralph Waldo Emerson, who once said, “He who is not every day conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.”
Merci,
Edwige
 Written by: Betsy Karp
This is your year to be totally honest with yourself and to tell the truth.
Your truth…
We all know deep within ourselves what that looks like, but somehow most of us our afraid to really reveal it. Start believing in the saying,“ the truth will set you free,” because it will. When we honor our true feelings, everything starts to shift. We can open up, be real and start moving forward with integrity. Ask yourself these questions: “Am I being honest with myself? Am I living in integrity? Am I telling my truth?”
I spent New Year’s Eve with someone from my past that I love very much. I was honest with my feelings, and myself, as well as with him. I have no idea where things will go and what will be, and how the Universe will intervene. Maybe we are just two passionate, loving souls sharing space and time in life. I really don’t have all of the answers yet. But what I do truly know is that it feels so great that I was honest with my emotions and myself. I told the truth. My truth. Life and love are complicated and yet when we are truthful with ourselves, everything seems to be a little simpler and a bit freer.
Let your heart steer you in the course you need to go in 2013. Trust that a pure heart will bring you just rewards. Look within and listen to your heart. The heart never lies. It is the truth. Don’t let your head bamboozle your every move. Our mind-voices can make us crazy and turn everything upside down.
Envision and create this New Year to be a year of honesty, and integrity with everyone in your life, but most importantly yourself. Adore yourself and tell your truth so that you can be the change YOU want to be in 2013.
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp
Founder of i adore me
 By: Betsy karp Happy New Year! Start it off with a gift to yourself. Pass these inspiring questions along to people you love. Whoever gets the most people to answer these questions under the comment section below and "like" my Facebook page, gets 20% off any program of their choice.
Rules:
1. Whomever comments below must put the full name of the person who sent them here at the top of their comment (yes, you and your answer counts as well).
2. Whoever likes my Facebook page must post the full name of the person who sent them there on my wall.
Take a few minutes today and fill in the blanks. See what you get. Don’t edit. Let these uplift and inspire you to be the best you and let 2013 bring you more of all of these wonderful things. Love is __________________________________________________ I’m grateful for __________________________________________________ I believe __________________________________________________ The world needs __________________________________________________ I hope for __________________________________________________ Life depends on __________________________________________________ Sex invigorates my __________________________________________________ Hold on to __________________________________________________ I crave some __________________________________________________ The moment is __________________________________________________ It’s time to __________________________________________________ Believe in __________________________________________________ Trust that __________________________________________________ My success depends on __________________________________________________ My appreciation is __________________________________________________
***Comment Below with your inspiring answers***
 Written by: Betsy Karp
It’s Christmas Eve and I hope you are all enjoying some wonderful eggnog, family, friends and holiday cheer. Tis the season to be jolly. Sing some carols and stay present…and enjoy the presents (pun intended).
If you get stressed out, wondering if you are giving the right gift, if you are drinking and eating too much or just being around “too much” family, take a minute for yourself and breathe. Let go and enjoy. Whatever will be will be.
Dress in something fun and festive. Wear red, green or hot pink. Red promotes passion, energy and confidence. It helps you to feel powerful within yourself. Green will help open your heart, letting you feel love and abundance. Hot Pink is playful and fun. It makes you feel like a child all over again.
Enjoy yourself. It’s Christmas. Focus on all the love that surrounds you instead of the problems that arise. I hope this holiday brings you lots of peace in your heart. Wishing you all lots of love and a great BIG holiday hug.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
You can never have enough hugs and kisses!
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 1. Keep Giving love
2. Make time for yourself
3. Get out of your own way
4. Stay present
5. Use color to uplift you
6. Eat healthily
7. Get out in nature
8. Help others
9. Take a chance on yourself
10. Give up criticism and complaining
11. Be generous
12. Make a contribution
13. Open up
14. Communicate
15. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones
16. Take yourself on a date once a week
17. Meditate
18. Eat something you loved eating as a child
19. Laugh
20. Give hugs
21. Get a good night’s sleep
22. Exercise
23. Focus on gratitude
24. Believe in yourself
25. Live for the journey instead of the result
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 Written by: Betsy Karp
What is luxury to you? Is it an expensive car or vacation? Is it a new sweater or a new house? I used to think that luxury was about having a lot of money, but now my thinking is different. When you don’t have a lot of money you have to get creative and think differently about what is important to you. Luxury is all about how valuable you believe yourself to be. It’s not about materialistic purchases, but a simpler and more loving approach to finding the treasures in your life.
Luxury is in our every day lives. Here are some simple, wonderful things that you can add to your world to make it more luxurious:
· A single red rose
· The wonderful scent of lavender oil in your bath
· A piece of dark cocoa chocolate with fresh juicy strawberries
· A walk through the park
· An old movie that makes you smile
· Your favorite music piped in on your iPhone while you take a walk to meet a friend for tea
· Buying a beautiful card and sending it to someone special, because you want to say, “I love you”
· A warm cup of cocoa after a cold day outside
· A glass of wine shared by candlelight
The question you need to ask yourself is if you feel worthy of such pleasures. Well, do you? If not, then maybe it‘s time to change your thinking. It really is that simple.
Luxury is everywhere. When you utilize it, the quality of your life will change instantly and you will feel so much happier and quite abundant. You don’t need a lot of money to have luxury. You just need to feel worthy of it all.
I recently took a warm bubble bath and I never take a bath in the morning. I always take morning showers, but that day I wanted to treat myself to a luxurious experience. I played Chris Botti, the famous trumpeter, on my iPad, I poured some lavender oil in my bath and lit a candle. I thought I was away at a spa. It cost nothing and I felt incredible. I had a smile on my face for the rest of the day. From that moment on, I was so relaxed and got so much accomplished. I felt like I had a million bucks in the bank.
What luxury will you give yourself today? Feel the pleasure of luxurious living. You deserve it!
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
Here is part two for the i adore me class I am teaching to 11 & 12 year old children for Citizen Schools. Through this course they are learning how to adore themselves, how color can impact their emotions and what that means for their community. The following are six short blogs by some of the students. They were asked what their passion is, what their favorite color is, how their passion and their favorite color makes them feel aWnd how they will use these things to support their community. The lesson here was to teach them how to express themselves through words. It’s interesting how a child’s mind works. We can learn a lot from them! They don’t edit themselves. I hope you enjoy their answers as much as I do:
Written by: Mansur Usman
My passion is that I want to be an artist to get money and play basketball. My favorite color is yellow. The reason why I pick that is because yellow makes me feel free and relaxed. The passion and the color makes me feel I am going to be a better person and be famous. I can use all of these to decorate my community and make it colorful. Or maybe the boys wants to play basketball or the girls want to be artists. And I could make my community a better place.
Written by: Leslie
My passion is counseling people. I love giving people advice. I’ve always loved giving advice. My favorite color is blue, because I love the way it makes me feel. It makes me feel secure. The way these things would help me support my community is that I could go do a big poster and I want it to be blue. I want the people to know that I’m creative…also what I’m capable of doing for my community. It’ll help them with their problems.
Written by: Merlin
My passion is to be a Marine. My favorite color is blue. It makes me feel safe and happy. I will help.
Written by: Marcel Daniel
My passion is being an artist and rapping. My favorite color is green, sage, because it makes me feel like I’m strong. I say it’s because my raps and drawings, and my color will change the world.
Written by: Mark Diaz
My passion is to play football and basketball. My favorite color is black. My passion makes me feel energetic. My favorite color makes me feel happy. A lot of people love black. I can also build football fields and basketball courts. They will be able to practice their dream.
Written by: Stephanie Porfil
My passion is playing Xbox Kinect. My favorite color is red and black. My favorite color makes me feel dark and bright. I will play games with kids who don’t have Xbox 360 to let them have fun.
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 Written by: John Michael Dias
I had an epiphany today. This is something I realize that will change everything. I was in a particularly bad mood as I trudged my way to the A train from my apartment on my way to work. After the train finally pulled up to a screeching halt at the station, I found myself looking around at all the different kinds of people around me. I realized that everything I was noticing was coming from a negative place. I heard myself say things in my head like, "Who would wear those shoes?" "I hate the color of that woman's coat" "He needs a haircut." "I wish that jerk would cut the flap open on the back of his jacket!!!" "That girl's voice is sooooo loud and annoying!"
Firstly, Who am I to think these things about other people? Secondly, all of these people have their own story and just as much worth as I do. Instantly, that girl with the Loud, Annoying Voice let out a joyous guffaw of musical laughter and a switch went off in my head.
This girl’s laughter was filled with so much joy and positivity. I instantly looked back at every person I was judging unfairly before, looking at them now in a completely different light. I looked over at the man whose shoes I hated before and noticed he had huge, beautiful blue eyes. The woman who wore that coat I hated, had such a pleasant expression on her face and looked so confident and content; you could tell she loved what she was wearing just by her stance. The guy who needed a haircut was a busy dad with his two children. He was making them laugh by reading to them on the long train ride downtown, and it was adorable. And who knows? Maybe that other guy wasn’t ever taught to snip that thread on the back of his coat.
I continued to look around the train and found positive things about everyone around me. The woman across from me had a beautiful smile. The couple near me was holding hands and looked so in love. Before I knew it, I heard the sound of the sliding doors and it snapped me out of my trance. I was at 59th street and it was time to get off the train.
I found that I was in such a good mood on my walk to work and throughout the rest of that day. I found that people were looking at me differently. Could it be that because I was seeing the positive in them, giving out good energy, they, in turn, were seeing the positive in me? Stranger things have happened.
For the rest of the day I found myself exercising this technique. The second I felt some negative thought or judgment coming on, I would instantly counteract it with a positive thought. I intend to make this my new way of living.
I truly believe that negativity is like a drug; it’s extremely addictive. It is so easy to gravitate toward negative thoughts and dwell on the negative aspects of people and situations. When we think of the positives, focusing on what we can learn from experiences we are confronted with, we blossom.
With every negative is a positive. I truly believe the mind is everything. What you think, you become. I choose to think positively. How about you?
*Please share your comments below*
written by: John Michael Dias
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