 Written by: Edwige Gilbert
Every year on December 31st, people all over the world make New Year’s resolutions. Millions of people wake up thinking, “This is the day I am going to do things differently!” They yearn for a new beginning and hate themselves when, after a few weeks, their resolutions fail.
Why do they fail? Because in trying to bring about change in their lives, people reach for the only tool they think they have: willpower, forcing themselves to change. Most often, unfortunately, the will fights back…and wins.
Look at dieting for example. In America, about 109 million dollars are spent on dieting and on diet products every day (Us department of Health and Human Services). Nearly two thirds of Americans are overweight. 25 percent of American men and 45 percent of American women are presently on a diet. Sadly, only 5 percent will lose the weight and keep it off.
What is wrong in the picture? Why is it so difficult to change?
Change is only possible when we begin to understand that it is futile to willfully struggle against our habitual patterns of behavior. You see, we are creatures of habit. Our mind does anything it can to keep us in our comfort zone, away from the unfamiliar and the uncomfortable. This is known as the ”pain/pleasure principle,” which is being experienced when the mind automatically moves us away from pain and toward pleasure and ease. When we tell ourselves, “I should go on a diet,” “I must…," or "I have to...,” immediately, our minds perceive it as painful and react by effectively stopping us from making our desired change. In other words, it is the mind’s protective mechanism that seeks to return us to our comfort zones, even when that acquired comfort zone is unhealthy and potentially harmful in the long run.
So what are we to do? Are we doomed to remain prisoners of our unwanted habits and behaviors? Not at all. The secret is to make our minds enjoy what we desire to change.
Change your focus and you shall change your reality. Simply choose to focus on your desired outcome, engaging the power of your imagination and of positive emotions. This means picturing having reached your desired goal, feeling good about yourself, feeling proud, in charge of your life again, liberated from the past and victorious.
It is strongly believed that the mind does not know the difference between what is real or just imagined. So take advantage of this, and begin to “think yourself changed!" The actual process is simple and is divided into three components:
First, develop a deep state of relaxation, called “Alpha,” an indispensable state to access the subconscious, which is also considered to be the only part of the brain where the seed for a new desired habit can be planted.
Second, in this peaceful state, get ready to project on an imaginary mental screen, which I call the “screening room,” all the vivid details of your new desired behavior. The more specific your visualization is the better. It will ensure the success of this practice.
Finally, in the last stage, remember to include powerful, positive words which I like to consider “declarations," that when repeated will not only create a hypnotic response, but will also, in the future, activate the memory of this joyful experience. The words I recommend to use are: “I choose to create this experience, I believe that I can, victory to me, victory is mine."
Be aware that repetition is critical to the success of the “screening room” practice. Neuroscience tells us that daily repetition for 21 days is what is recommended to create a new pathway to the brain, responsible for our new habitual pattern of behavior.
No doubt, this is powerful material to absorb and can be challenging at first. Realizing that transformation begins in our minds, knowing that thoughts create our destiny and that we have the power to become the master of our lives, can also be the ideal way to begin the year. For a change, prepare yourself to throw out the “gotta, oughts, should’s” part of your resolution, and instead decide to embrace the “I choose.. I desire... I can… I do...”. This will lead you to victory and success in your life.
 Written by: Betsy KarpStarting something new is very challenging and can be a test of your resiliency. It takes a lot of belief, patience, faith and a really big dose of courage. ORANGE is the COLOR of courage and it is all around me right now. My screen saver is a bright ORANGE and I’ve been eating so many ORANGE foods filled with beta-carotene and healthy nutrients, giving me that internal boost. Sometimes, in the darkest of times, when you just want to give up is when you have to be your strongest, telling yourself it's going to be OK and to take it Step-by-Step. Let go of the control and release it to the universe. Trust that there is a higher calling and a greater good, and that the universe has your back. It’s a step-by-step process of putting one foot in front of the other. Taking action and doing something everyday is what gets you results, and I mean EVERY DAY action. It can be the littlest thing like answering an email that you have been putting off. JUST DO ONE SMALL THING EVERY DAY! By taking action we learn, we grow and we adjust. It’s in the doing that progress occurs. Don’t wait to make it perfect. Just do it and make adjustments as you go. As we move the universe moves with us. Fear pushes us to move forward. Without fear we wouldn’t grow or do very much. We need some fear in our lives, but the key is to embrace our fears with love. This is when the breakthroughs and the “ah ha” moments happen. Life is a process. It is about building and taking that step, after step, after step, and not giving up even when you want to. It’s the small steps that get us to where we want to be. Without them we really can’t move forward. Let and allow the feelings to come up and know that LOVE is the only way you want to be. Each step and movement feeds on the next. Sometimes it takes a really long time to get there. Everything comes in the right time and in its divine order if you keep moving forward Step-by-Step. So how do we find love for ourselves and get out of fear? It’s about taking a deep breath and getting calm within. It’s about letting go of the ego and the perfectionism of how it’s all going to end up. It’s learning how to just be and accept all that is in this precious moment. Unleash the negative, bratty voices and focus on the positive. Make that call you have been putting off for days (maybe even weeks) and connect with an old friend or business associate. Ask for help and support. Just do ONE thing! People can’t read your mind and know what you need. Reach out and ask someone for help. It’s amazing how everyone wants to help if they can. I have been connecting with so many people and asking for help in the last few weeks. I am amazed at the synchronicity of it all. For example, I am about to launch my i adore me Kids Program. With this on my mind, I bumped into someone today I hadn’t seen in years. Her husband, also a friend, is in the NYC school system. How perfect is that? Everything comes in the RIGHT TIME, so I decided to reach out and ask for his help. I now have an appointment with his son’s principal to discuss my i adore me Kids Program. Now, none of this would have happened if I didn’t pay attention to the signs, reach out and make that call, asking for help and being open to connect. Life is about giving and receiving. Be in the moment and make it happen. Connecting and sharing our life and love with others helps us to feel and find the love within us. It's good to be vulnerable. It's real. Be the authentic you. Don’t be afraid. Get out of your own way and share: connect and communicate, and do it all with LOVE…Step-by-Step. Now doesn’t that feel better?! *Please comment below and share with your friends.* Have a Colorful Day, Betsy Karp, Founder of i adore me
 Written by: Betsy Karp
I was one of the speakers at the Joie De Vivre Circle I’ve been going to for years now, and I love them. They are intimate gatherings at lovely women’s homes on Fifth Avenue. I met Edwige Gilbert there five years ago. She’s the woman who started the circle back in 2001. She is charming and I adore her French accent. Over the years she has become a very dear friend. When I walked in, she said, “Betsy, let’s change the format this evening. Instead of us speaking to the group one-on-one, let’s bounce off of each other and see where it goes. Are you on board?” I said, “Yes!”
It was a wonderful forum of conversation, letting go and just being in the moment. We were a great complement to each other, bouncing back and forth with our stories and powerful words. Sometimes the best things happen when we don’t plan and expect everything to be perfect. Perfection! What a word. And if you’re not careful it can destroy you.
For so many years I wanted to have everything perfect in my world, but now the word perfect to me means that everything is perfect just as it is. I look at my life through such a different lens. I‘m not about getting or making things perfect. I am just being me and showing up, and it feels really great.
Edwige went around the room asking everyone one to share an experience about someone they love and how that experience had an impact on them. It was so real and everyone opened up, speaking from their hearts.
A lovely gentleman in the group turned and said,“ Well here is my share. I was away on a trip with a very dear friend. I carry many of my business cards with me and I hand them out to anyone I meet. My good friend, who is a psychologist, turned to me and said, ‘Why in the world are you wasting those cards on people who probably will just throw them in the garbage after tonight?’ So I said, ‘I believe that it’s better to share the love and give the cards than to have them sit in a box in your house to collect dust.’ ‘Thank you for that…you are so right. I will start giving them out. I can’t thank you enough for that message.’”
One woman said, “I gave my daughter a magic wand many moons ago and I told her that the wand had three attributes and they are:
1) This wand will be your very own fairy godmother
2) It will work if you want it badly enough
3) AND It will work in it’s own time.
To this day my daughter says, ‘Mom, that wand was invaluable. You were so right, because it all does work out in it’s own time. Thank you!’”
We all chimed in with, “WOW, I wish my mother had given me a magic wand.”
Everyone has a story and I love the one of the magic wand. I am going to get my own magic wand and let it work it’s magic in it’s own time. How about you?
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
So what's YOUR passion? Watch this video and be inspired by 11 & 12 year olds who are completing their final WOW Projects for Citizen Schools and The i adore me Kids Program. They have found their passion and used their creativity to impact their community.
Once we find our passion we can step into who we really are and what we want. There's no time like the present, so find that passion within you and bring it out into the world. We all have special gifts to share. What's yours?
*Please Comment Below*
 By: Betsy karp Happy New Year! Start it off with a gift to yourself. Pass these inspiring questions along to people you love. Whoever gets the most people to answer these questions under the comment section below and "like" my Facebook page, gets 20% off any program of their choice.
Rules:
1. Whomever comments below must put the full name of the person who sent them here at the top of their comment (yes, you and your answer counts as well).
2. Whoever likes my Facebook page must post the full name of the person who sent them there on my wall.
Take a few minutes today and fill in the blanks. See what you get. Don’t edit. Let these uplift and inspire you to be the best you and let 2013 bring you more of all of these wonderful things. Love is __________________________________________________ I’m grateful for __________________________________________________ I believe __________________________________________________ The world needs __________________________________________________ I hope for __________________________________________________ Life depends on __________________________________________________ Sex invigorates my __________________________________________________ Hold on to __________________________________________________ I crave some __________________________________________________ The moment is __________________________________________________ It’s time to __________________________________________________ Believe in __________________________________________________ Trust that __________________________________________________ My success depends on __________________________________________________ My appreciation is __________________________________________________
***Comment Below with your inspiring answers***
 1. Keep Giving love
2. Make time for yourself
3. Get out of your own way
4. Stay present
5. Use color to uplift you
6. Eat healthily
7. Get out in nature
8. Help others
9. Take a chance on yourself
10. Give up criticism and complaining
11. Be generous
12. Make a contribution
13. Open up
14. Communicate
15. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones
16. Take yourself on a date once a week
17. Meditate
18. Eat something you loved eating as a child
19. Laugh
20. Give hugs
21. Get a good night’s sleep
22. Exercise
23. Focus on gratitude
24. Believe in yourself
25. Live for the journey instead of the result
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
Enjoy this video. I hope it inspires you as much as it inspires me.
 Written by: Betsy Karp I have twenty-two 11 and 12-year-old students in my i adore me class, preparing for their “WOW” Project at Citizen Schools. Out of the 22 students, 20 of them are doing outstanding, inspirational, exciting work. The other two are a problem, and I’ll explain why… One of these two students said to me, “I can’t do this. I don’t know how, I don’t want to and I’m not doing it.” My response to him was, “Let’s talk about it and see what we can work out.” He was very unruly, angry and belligerent, to the point that the principal had to come to the room. This child refused to have anything to do with the “WOW” Project, so the principal let him work on the computer in the back of the room. This student is an artist and I have seen some of his previous work…he is quite talented. It was bothering me that he was so stubborn and didn’t want to at least try. He was feeding on the other student, who only speaks Spanish, who said that he couldn’t do it, because he doesn’t speak English. As all of this was going on, one of the girls in the class came up to me and said, “Ms. Betsy, can you help me please? I don’t know how to draw people and robots for my ‘WOW’ Project.” As I was helping her, a light bulb went off in my head. I said to her, “I will help you with the people, but let’s see if we can ask your classmate on the computer in the back of the room if he would be so kind to help you (since he is such a talented artist) to draw the robots.” I picked up a piece of yellow construction paper, we walked to the back of the room and the two of us kindly asked him for help. He looked up at me and said, “I can’t do it.” She said, “Yes you can. I’ve seen how great you draw and I really need help with the robots.” He looked up again and said, “Ok, I can help you but I can only draw on white paper.” I responded to him with, “Yellow is the color that inspires us to be positive. It’s also associated with our will. So I want you to please take this piece of yellow paper and help her to create some wonderful robots.” By the end of the class, he handed me a work of art! He had titled this project “Halo.” He had drawn an ARMY of robots and wrote on the bottom of the yellow paper, “I Can.” I had tears in my eyes. Not only did he help his classmate, he learned to give back to his community (his fellow student), which is what the “WOW” Project is all about. I complimented him and said, “You flipped your script. You went from ‘I can’t’ to ‘I can!’ How does that feel?” He said, “It feels really good! Thank you miss Betsy for believing in me, because now I’ve done the “WOW” Project too.” After seeing all of this, the other student who only speaks Spanish decided he wanted to do something as well. I asked two other students who also speak Spanish to interpret for me. They asked him to write me something in Spanish that he loved about himself. He wrote, “I am going to try to do this project.” It was a win-win for everyone. Where in your life can you flip your script and start showing up for yourself? How can you start turning your “I CAN’Ts” into “I CANs”? Maybe you can find someone or something that can unblock you as well and get you out of your “comfort” zone. What’s your payoff in staying blocked? Color Your World with yellow and let these kids be a symbol of inspiration to help you get unblocked. Isn’t it time you got out of your own way? *Please comment below and share with your friends.* Hugs, Betsy Karp, Founder of i adore me
Here is part two for the i adore me class I am teaching to 11 & 12 year old children for Citizen Schools. Through this course they are learning how to adore themselves, how color can impact their emotions and what that means for their community. The following are six short blogs by some of the students. They were asked what their passion is, what their favorite color is, how their passion and their favorite color makes them feel aWnd how they will use these things to support their community. The lesson here was to teach them how to express themselves through words. It’s interesting how a child’s mind works. We can learn a lot from them! They don’t edit themselves. I hope you enjoy their answers as much as I do:
Written by: Mansur Usman
My passion is that I want to be an artist to get money and play basketball. My favorite color is yellow. The reason why I pick that is because yellow makes me feel free and relaxed. The passion and the color makes me feel I am going to be a better person and be famous. I can use all of these to decorate my community and make it colorful. Or maybe the boys wants to play basketball or the girls want to be artists. And I could make my community a better place.
Written by: Leslie
My passion is counseling people. I love giving people advice. I’ve always loved giving advice. My favorite color is blue, because I love the way it makes me feel. It makes me feel secure. The way these things would help me support my community is that I could go do a big poster and I want it to be blue. I want the people to know that I’m creative…also what I’m capable of doing for my community. It’ll help them with their problems.
Written by: Merlin
My passion is to be a Marine. My favorite color is blue. It makes me feel safe and happy. I will help.
Written by: Marcel Daniel
My passion is being an artist and rapping. My favorite color is green, sage, because it makes me feel like I’m strong. I say it’s because my raps and drawings, and my color will change the world.
Written by: Mark Diaz
My passion is to play football and basketball. My favorite color is black. My passion makes me feel energetic. My favorite color makes me feel happy. A lot of people love black. I can also build football fields and basketball courts. They will be able to practice their dream.
Written by: Stephanie Porfil
My passion is playing Xbox Kinect. My favorite color is red and black. My favorite color makes me feel dark and bright. I will play games with kids who don’t have Xbox 360 to let them have fun.
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 A Child’s Insight
Series
(ages 11 & 12)
I am teaching an i adore me class to 11 & 12 year old children for Citizen Schools. Through this course they are learning how to adore themselves, how color can impact their emotions and what that means for their community. The following are three short blogs by some of the students. They were asked what their passion is, what their favorite color is, how their passion and their favorite color makes them feel and how they will use these things to support their community. The lesson here was to teach them how to express themselves through words. It’s interesting how a child’s mind works. We can learn a lot from them! They don’t edit themselves. I hope you enjoy their answers as much as I do:
Written by: Nataley Encarnacion
My passion is to dance. My favorite colors are blue and purple. My passion and my favorite color makes me feel free, because I can dance any type of way and my color makes me feel good, because I can do anything that I stick to. I would use these things to support my community by building a dance class to teach other people how to dance. I would use my color in my dance class by if you feel good you can use that by telling everyone they can be free.
Written by: Markayla Turner
My passion is shopping and my favorite color is purple. My passion and my favorite color make me feel comfortable. And purple is cool and I love being cool. I will use these to support my community. And hurricane Sandy ruined some of the mall. People will want to shop for clothes and shoes. I will want them to be very happy when I help them. I will do a clothing drive, because I love going shopping.
Written by: Ines Lazu
My passion is dancing and singing. My favorite color is red, because red is love. My passion and favorite color makes me feel happy about myself. My passion which is dancing and singing will help my community, because I can raise money to help the poor people and the people who lost their homes. My favorite color, which is red, will help my community by not making people fight for no reason.
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