 Written by: Edwige Gilbert
Every year on December 31st, people all over the world make New Year’s resolutions. Millions of people wake up thinking, “This is the day I am going to do things differently!” They yearn for a new beginning and hate themselves when, after a few weeks, their resolutions fail.
Why do they fail? Because in trying to bring about change in their lives, people reach for the only tool they think they have: willpower, forcing themselves to change. Most often, unfortunately, the will fights back…and wins.
Look at dieting for example. In America, about 109 million dollars are spent on dieting and on diet products every day (Us department of Health and Human Services). Nearly two thirds of Americans are overweight. 25 percent of American men and 45 percent of American women are presently on a diet. Sadly, only 5 percent will lose the weight and keep it off.
What is wrong in the picture? Why is it so difficult to change?
Change is only possible when we begin to understand that it is futile to willfully struggle against our habitual patterns of behavior. You see, we are creatures of habit. Our mind does anything it can to keep us in our comfort zone, away from the unfamiliar and the uncomfortable. This is known as the ”pain/pleasure principle,” which is being experienced when the mind automatically moves us away from pain and toward pleasure and ease. When we tell ourselves, “I should go on a diet,” “I must…," or "I have to...,” immediately, our minds perceive it as painful and react by effectively stopping us from making our desired change. In other words, it is the mind’s protective mechanism that seeks to return us to our comfort zones, even when that acquired comfort zone is unhealthy and potentially harmful in the long run.
So what are we to do? Are we doomed to remain prisoners of our unwanted habits and behaviors? Not at all. The secret is to make our minds enjoy what we desire to change.
Change your focus and you shall change your reality. Simply choose to focus on your desired outcome, engaging the power of your imagination and of positive emotions. This means picturing having reached your desired goal, feeling good about yourself, feeling proud, in charge of your life again, liberated from the past and victorious.
It is strongly believed that the mind does not know the difference between what is real or just imagined. So take advantage of this, and begin to “think yourself changed!" The actual process is simple and is divided into three components:
First, develop a deep state of relaxation, called “Alpha,” an indispensable state to access the subconscious, which is also considered to be the only part of the brain where the seed for a new desired habit can be planted.
Second, in this peaceful state, get ready to project on an imaginary mental screen, which I call the “screening room,” all the vivid details of your new desired behavior. The more specific your visualization is the better. It will ensure the success of this practice.
Finally, in the last stage, remember to include powerful, positive words which I like to consider “declarations," that when repeated will not only create a hypnotic response, but will also, in the future, activate the memory of this joyful experience. The words I recommend to use are: “I choose to create this experience, I believe that I can, victory to me, victory is mine."
Be aware that repetition is critical to the success of the “screening room” practice. Neuroscience tells us that daily repetition for 21 days is what is recommended to create a new pathway to the brain, responsible for our new habitual pattern of behavior.
No doubt, this is powerful material to absorb and can be challenging at first. Realizing that transformation begins in our minds, knowing that thoughts create our destiny and that we have the power to become the master of our lives, can also be the ideal way to begin the year. For a change, prepare yourself to throw out the “gotta, oughts, should’s” part of your resolution, and instead decide to embrace the “I choose.. I desire... I can… I do...”. This will lead you to victory and success in your life.
Learn how RED and GREEN affect different Chakras in your body, which in turn, affect your energy, your mood and your thoughts. See how RED and GREEN will bring more abundance into your life through expansion:
By: Betsy Karp,
The COLOUR COACH
Have a COLORFUL Day!
*Please Comment Below*
 Written by: Betsy Karp
It’s Christmas Eve and I hope you are all enjoying some wonderful eggnog, family, friends and holiday cheer. Tis the season to be jolly. Sing some carols and stay present…and enjoy the presents (pun intended).
If you get stressed out, wondering if you are giving the right gift, if you are drinking and eating too much or just being around “too much” family, take a minute for yourself and breathe. Let go and enjoy. Whatever will be will be.
Dress in something fun and festive. Wear red, green or hot pink. Red promotes passion, energy and confidence. It helps you to feel powerful within yourself. Green will help open your heart, letting you feel love and abundance. Hot Pink is playful and fun. It makes you feel like a child all over again.
Enjoy yourself. It’s Christmas. Focus on all the love that surrounds you instead of the problems that arise. I hope this holiday brings you lots of peace in your heart. Wishing you all lots of love and a great BIG holiday hug.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
You can never have enough hugs and kisses!
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 1. Keep Giving love
2. Make time for yourself
3. Get out of your own way
4. Stay present
5. Use color to uplift you
6. Eat healthily
7. Get out in nature
8. Help others
9. Take a chance on yourself
10. Give up criticism and complaining
11. Be generous
12. Make a contribution
13. Open up
14. Communicate
15. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones
16. Take yourself on a date once a week
17. Meditate
18. Eat something you loved eating as a child
19. Laugh
20. Give hugs
21. Get a good night’s sleep
22. Exercise
23. Focus on gratitude
24. Believe in yourself
25. Live for the journey instead of the result
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
Enjoy this video. I hope it inspires you as much as it inspires me.
 Written by: Betsy Karp
What is luxury to you? Is it an expensive car or vacation? Is it a new sweater or a new house? I used to think that luxury was about having a lot of money, but now my thinking is different. When you don’t have a lot of money you have to get creative and think differently about what is important to you. Luxury is all about how valuable you believe yourself to be. It’s not about materialistic purchases, but a simpler and more loving approach to finding the treasures in your life.
Luxury is in our every day lives. Here are some simple, wonderful things that you can add to your world to make it more luxurious:
· A single red rose
· The wonderful scent of lavender oil in your bath
· A piece of dark cocoa chocolate with fresh juicy strawberries
· A walk through the park
· An old movie that makes you smile
· Your favorite music piped in on your iPhone while you take a walk to meet a friend for tea
· Buying a beautiful card and sending it to someone special, because you want to say, “I love you”
· A warm cup of cocoa after a cold day outside
· A glass of wine shared by candlelight
The question you need to ask yourself is if you feel worthy of such pleasures. Well, do you? If not, then maybe it‘s time to change your thinking. It really is that simple.
Luxury is everywhere. When you utilize it, the quality of your life will change instantly and you will feel so much happier and quite abundant. You don’t need a lot of money to have luxury. You just need to feel worthy of it all.
I recently took a warm bubble bath and I never take a bath in the morning. I always take morning showers, but that day I wanted to treat myself to a luxurious experience. I played Chris Botti, the famous trumpeter, on my iPad, I poured some lavender oil in my bath and lit a candle. I thought I was away at a spa. It cost nothing and I felt incredible. I had a smile on my face for the rest of the day. From that moment on, I was so relaxed and got so much accomplished. I felt like I had a million bucks in the bank.
What luxury will you give yourself today? Feel the pleasure of luxurious living. You deserve it!
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
Here is part two for the i adore me class I am teaching to 11 & 12 year old children for Citizen Schools. Through this course they are learning how to adore themselves, how color can impact their emotions and what that means for their community. The following are six short blogs by some of the students. They were asked what their passion is, what their favorite color is, how their passion and their favorite color makes them feel aWnd how they will use these things to support their community. The lesson here was to teach them how to express themselves through words. It’s interesting how a child’s mind works. We can learn a lot from them! They don’t edit themselves. I hope you enjoy their answers as much as I do:
Written by: Mansur Usman
My passion is that I want to be an artist to get money and play basketball. My favorite color is yellow. The reason why I pick that is because yellow makes me feel free and relaxed. The passion and the color makes me feel I am going to be a better person and be famous. I can use all of these to decorate my community and make it colorful. Or maybe the boys wants to play basketball or the girls want to be artists. And I could make my community a better place.
Written by: Leslie
My passion is counseling people. I love giving people advice. I’ve always loved giving advice. My favorite color is blue, because I love the way it makes me feel. It makes me feel secure. The way these things would help me support my community is that I could go do a big poster and I want it to be blue. I want the people to know that I’m creative…also what I’m capable of doing for my community. It’ll help them with their problems.
Written by: Merlin
My passion is to be a Marine. My favorite color is blue. It makes me feel safe and happy. I will help.
Written by: Marcel Daniel
My passion is being an artist and rapping. My favorite color is green, sage, because it makes me feel like I’m strong. I say it’s because my raps and drawings, and my color will change the world.
Written by: Mark Diaz
My passion is to play football and basketball. My favorite color is black. My passion makes me feel energetic. My favorite color makes me feel happy. A lot of people love black. I can also build football fields and basketball courts. They will be able to practice their dream.
Written by: Stephanie Porfil
My passion is playing Xbox Kinect. My favorite color is red and black. My favorite color makes me feel dark and bright. I will play games with kids who don’t have Xbox 360 to let them have fun.
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 Written by: EDWIGE GILBERT
Henry Ford once said, “Whether you believe you can or you believe you cannot, you are right." Fortunately the choice is yours. Unfortunately it is a very hard one to make. Let me tell you why. Most of the time you are not conscious that the decision you want to make has anything to do with embedded beliefs operating in your mind. There are two kinds of them, which I have named self-serving and self- sabotaging. The self-serving beliefs make you feel courageous, confident, happy and assist you in achieving your goals. On the other end, the self-sabotaging beliefs make you feel anxious, insecure and literally attack your self esteem and self confidence. In light of this awareness, if you feel good about yourself, are successful and in charge of your life, you have been blessed with the productive kind. No need to change anything, just make sure you show gratitude for your life and for all the people who live in it.
Let’s discuss now about what beliefs are and are not, and how you can make them work for you and become victorious. You see, a belief is just a thought that you hold to be true. That thought can trigger an emotion, which in turn can influence you to take an action, and it all ends up with a result. Let’s review this sequence again. There is a thought, followed by an emotion ending with an action and a result. It is a very important sequence to remember and not to take lightly, since the outcome may not always work to your advantage. That is the issue indeed. When you keep repeating the same unwanted sequence and getting the same result, you might want to stop and reflect for a moment. What is truly going on here? The problem might have to do with a thought which you hold to be true. What if you decided to challenge this belief and to question whether it is true or not? What about if you replaced your old belief? I promise, simply asking these simple questions can alter the course of your life in a very dramatic way.
Let me tell you my story:
As a little girl in the South of France, I was raised by a grandmother who believed that I was fragile and needed protection. Anytime I would venture out and try something new, I would hear “You cannot” and it would stop me immediately. Over time, with hundreds of repetitions of “I cannot,” I began to believe it so much that this phrase became my password, my worst companion. Even after I left grandmother and moved to the United States, I could still hear her voice deep inside my head, repeated anytime I wanted to show my courage and venture into the world. Not only did I feel I was cursed, but I also became very shy, without an ounce of self confidence, a true basket case. Maybe you can relate to my story or simply understand that it is meant to illustrate how a sabotaging belief can highjack your entire life. Ironically you start to believe that you are trapped. No matter what you try to accomplish, you return to the same place, to the same uncomfortable feeling over and over again. You are caught between your desire to take a positive action moving you forward, and your insidious belief holding you back. "Am I going crazy?" you ask. Are you doomed to remain a victim? Are you part of a Greek tragedy? I assure you it is none of the above.
Whether you have been struggling with your weight, hesitating to change careers, contemplating going back to the gym or giving up finding your significant other, the answer is the same. It is a three step solution.
The first step and most crucial one is to become aware. What I mean is to have the courage to reflect on your life and to trace back to the origin of your recurrent and uncomfortable feelings which are connected to your sabotaging beliefs. Let me warn you, from my experience, most of the time you will end up in childhood, which is when you will need to be kind, forgiving to yourself and others. Just know that you did the best you could. It was not your fault. You did what you were taught and the people in your life did their best as well with what they believed.
The second step of this transformational process is to imagine yourself free of the old belief, feeling confident, passionate unstoppable, moving forward towards your desired goal. To create this experience, begin to make vivid and compelling pictures of the New You that you project on your mental screen, see all the details of the person you desire to become and believe that you are worthy of feeling this way.
Step three is to declare your victory, as you immerse in rehearsing your role in this happy story. Then, when you feel you are at the peak of this emotional experience, take a deep breath and declare out loud “Victory to me, Victory is mine”. Believe that the seed of the New You has been planted and use repetition to ensure the creation of this new long lasting conditioning.
One important recommendation: be patient and be kind to yourself. It is believed that it takes a minimum of 21 days to install a new behavior in the subconscious mind. Be aware that some of those beliefs can be very tenacious, since they have been with you for a very long time. Whenever during the day you feel the unwanted feeling showing its face, simply make a fist with your right hand, take a deep breath and repeat silently to yourself three times in a row “Victory to me ,Victory is mine”. I promise it will activate the memory of your new experience and of the New You.
***Voila, give it a try and let me know your story!***
Merci,
Edwige
"We are not what happened to us, but what we choose to become"
--Edwige
Right now I have a lot of hope in my heart. I have hope for our country. I have hope that we can move forward as a united nation now that the election is over. I have even more, positive hope that President Obama will do what he set out to do 4 years ago. I have hope that my dreams and my passions of i adore me’s success will come to fruition. I also have a deep hope and courage within myself to keep going, never giving up. What do you have hope for?
Please enjoy this video. I hope it will inspire you as it has in me…
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 Written by: EDWIGE GILBERT
Have you ever wondered what the true definition and meaning of the word emotion is? As women we are often accused of being too emotional, and often we simply agree, wishing we weren't. The real problem, I believe, is not having too many emotions, but actually is not knowing how to have our emotions flow in harmony and balance. Consider changing your perspective and looking at the word emotion as “E-motion” meaning "energy in motion." Look at it this way, and you can see that too much E-motion can create an excess and imbalance of energy in the body, which in turn directly impacts our health and leads to “dis-ease”, thus the ease of the body is dis-rupted. We all agree that we cannot avoid our responsibilities and obligations in our lives. We also agree that we are constantly bombarded with challenges, which in turn throw us out of balance and create excess ‘E-motion’. We have now entered a complete vicious cycle: from emotions to stress, and from stress back to more intense emotions, looping around again and again... Let us ask ourselves this question now. Does all this mean that the perpetual emotional roller coaster ride we experience will condemn us to suffering and sickness? No! What we need to learn is how to get off the roller coaster ride and understand how to return to a safe place within, to a state of emotional balance and optimum health and strength. In my Fresh Start program I teach my clients how to achieve this result, by teaching them how to transform stress into strength with a fundamental two step process called “The Clearing and Creating formula”: 1. ”Clearing” the present from any anxiety or fears that hold you back, then accessing a quiet place within, where you can relax and feel safe. 2. ”Creating” the future, imagining the person you would like to be with and the life you would like to live. You can also learn to change your beliefs about what happens to you. For instance, you could start believing that you have the power to transform your life and to imagine that the universe tests you at times, to see how you will respond to conflict and challenge. Have you ever questioned what would happen if you chose to welcome every challenge as an opportunity to develop courage, discover your inner strength and resiliency? Have you ever wondered what would happen if you chose to feel victorious instead of victimized? This choice is yours and yours alone, and will determine the state of your well-being. Having said that, let’s find out what practical steps you could take every day to reach, and most importantly, to maintain this emotional balance in your multitasking, hectic life. I have created a series of rituals and exercises that I promise, if practiced daily, especially for the first 21 days (necessary time to create a new mental conditioning), will have a very powerful and positive effect in your life and will simultaneously create more “Joie de vivre" (French for joy). If you seriously want to be successful with this process, I suggest that you start believing that you can, that you are worthy of feeling good about yourself, that there is always light waiting for you at the end of the tunnel, and most importantly, celebrate every day as if it were your last: • When you first wake up in the morning, stretch your arms above your head and declare to yourself: ”I am happy to be me, I welcome the world of infinite possibilities, I Can, I Do, I Will! Victory to me, victory is mine." • When a difficult moment arises, imagine yourself holding a sword of fearlessness in your hand as you walk boldly forward to meet the challenge. • When you feel very anxious, gently wrap your left thumb with the fingers of your right hand, hold it for 1 minute, and as you do, breathing deeply, imagining all your worries melting away. • When you encounter a challenge, see it as an opportunity to test your courage and to develop your strength of character. • When you want to experience some calmness in your day, take a deep breath in and say to yourself the word “calm." And as you exhale say the words “let go” and begin to imagine your mind like the silent bottom of the sea without a ripple of thought disturbing its surface. • When desiring more confidence and energy, think of your belly as your power center, and as you breathe, gather all your energy supplies into that space and smile. • When desiring change, release your will power, activate your subconscious power instead and imagine yourself the way you want to be. Now – You are ready to experience joy, love balance and positive energy. Merci, Edwige, Author of The Fresh Start Promise
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