Here is part two for the i adore me class I am teaching to 11 & 12 year old children for Citizen Schools. Through this course they are learning how to adore themselves, how color can impact their emotions and what that means for their community. The following are six short blogs by some of the students. They were asked what their passion is, what their favorite color is, how their passion and their favorite color makes them feel aWnd how they will use these things to support their community. The lesson here was to teach them how to express themselves through words. It’s interesting how a child’s mind works. We can learn a lot from them! They don’t edit themselves. I hope you enjoy their answers as much as I do:
Written by: Mansur Usman
My passion is that I want to be an artist to get money and play basketball. My favorite color is yellow. The reason why I pick that is because yellow makes me feel free and relaxed. The passion and the color makes me feel I am going to be a better person and be famous. I can use all of these to decorate my community and make it colorful. Or maybe the boys wants to play basketball or the girls want to be artists. And I could make my community a better place.
Written by: Leslie
My passion is counseling people. I love giving people advice. I’ve always loved giving advice. My favorite color is blue, because I love the way it makes me feel. It makes me feel secure. The way these things would help me support my community is that I could go do a big poster and I want it to be blue. I want the people to know that I’m creative…also what I’m capable of doing for my community. It’ll help them with their problems.
Written by: Merlin
My passion is to be a Marine. My favorite color is blue. It makes me feel safe and happy. I will help.
Written by: Marcel Daniel
My passion is being an artist and rapping. My favorite color is green, sage, because it makes me feel like I’m strong. I say it’s because my raps and drawings, and my color will change the world.
Written by: Mark Diaz
My passion is to play football and basketball. My favorite color is black. My passion makes me feel energetic. My favorite color makes me feel happy. A lot of people love black. I can also build football fields and basketball courts. They will be able to practice their dream.
Written by: Stephanie Porfil
My passion is playing Xbox Kinect. My favorite color is red and black. My favorite color makes me feel dark and bright. I will play games with kids who don’t have Xbox 360 to let them have fun.
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 A Child’s Insight
Series
(ages 11 & 12)
I am teaching an i adore me class to 11 & 12 year old children for Citizen Schools. Through this course they are learning how to adore themselves, how color can impact their emotions and what that means for their community. The following are three short blogs by some of the students. They were asked what their passion is, what their favorite color is, how their passion and their favorite color makes them feel and how they will use these things to support their community. The lesson here was to teach them how to express themselves through words. It’s interesting how a child’s mind works. We can learn a lot from them! They don’t edit themselves. I hope you enjoy their answers as much as I do:
Written by: Nataley Encarnacion
My passion is to dance. My favorite colors are blue and purple. My passion and my favorite color makes me feel free, because I can dance any type of way and my color makes me feel good, because I can do anything that I stick to. I would use these things to support my community by building a dance class to teach other people how to dance. I would use my color in my dance class by if you feel good you can use that by telling everyone they can be free.
Written by: Markayla Turner
My passion is shopping and my favorite color is purple. My passion and my favorite color make me feel comfortable. And purple is cool and I love being cool. I will use these to support my community. And hurricane Sandy ruined some of the mall. People will want to shop for clothes and shoes. I will want them to be very happy when I help them. I will do a clothing drive, because I love going shopping.
Written by: Ines Lazu
My passion is dancing and singing. My favorite color is red, because red is love. My passion and favorite color makes me feel happy about myself. My passion which is dancing and singing will help my community, because I can raise money to help the poor people and the people who lost their homes. My favorite color, which is red, will help my community by not making people fight for no reason.
 Written by: John Michael Dias
I had an epiphany today. This is something I realize that will change everything. I was in a particularly bad mood as I trudged my way to the A train from my apartment on my way to work. After the train finally pulled up to a screeching halt at the station, I found myself looking around at all the different kinds of people around me. I realized that everything I was noticing was coming from a negative place. I heard myself say things in my head like, "Who would wear those shoes?" "I hate the color of that woman's coat" "He needs a haircut." "I wish that jerk would cut the flap open on the back of his jacket!!!" "That girl's voice is sooooo loud and annoying!"
Firstly, Who am I to think these things about other people? Secondly, all of these people have their own story and just as much worth as I do. Instantly, that girl with the Loud, Annoying Voice let out a joyous guffaw of musical laughter and a switch went off in my head.
This girl’s laughter was filled with so much joy and positivity. I instantly looked back at every person I was judging unfairly before, looking at them now in a completely different light. I looked over at the man whose shoes I hated before and noticed he had huge, beautiful blue eyes. The woman who wore that coat I hated, had such a pleasant expression on her face and looked so confident and content; you could tell she loved what she was wearing just by her stance. The guy who needed a haircut was a busy dad with his two children. He was making them laugh by reading to them on the long train ride downtown, and it was adorable. And who knows? Maybe that other guy wasn’t ever taught to snip that thread on the back of his coat.
I continued to look around the train and found positive things about everyone around me. The woman across from me had a beautiful smile. The couple near me was holding hands and looked so in love. Before I knew it, I heard the sound of the sliding doors and it snapped me out of my trance. I was at 59th street and it was time to get off the train.
I found that I was in such a good mood on my walk to work and throughout the rest of that day. I found that people were looking at me differently. Could it be that because I was seeing the positive in them, giving out good energy, they, in turn, were seeing the positive in me? Stranger things have happened.
For the rest of the day I found myself exercising this technique. The second I felt some negative thought or judgment coming on, I would instantly counteract it with a positive thought. I intend to make this my new way of living.
I truly believe that negativity is like a drug; it’s extremely addictive. It is so easy to gravitate toward negative thoughts and dwell on the negative aspects of people and situations. When we think of the positives, focusing on what we can learn from experiences we are confronted with, we blossom.
With every negative is a positive. I truly believe the mind is everything. What you think, you become. I choose to think positively. How about you?
*Please share your comments below*
written by: John Michael Dias
I found this beautiful video on YouTube. It is an inspiration to me. There is a famous poem by Oriah Mountain Dreamer entitled, "The Invitation," and it is incorporated in this video below. It was uploaded onto YouTube by CreativeRain. I invite you to not only watch this video but read the poem underneath the video. I hope it inspires you as much as it inspires me!
Hugs,
Betsy Karp
The Invitation
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Canadian Teacher and Author
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."
It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
© 1995 by Oriah House, From "Dreams Of Desire"
Published by Mountain Dreaming, 300 Coxwell Avenue, Box 22546, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4L 2A0
 Give Thanks. Thanksgiving is about appreciating all of the wonderful things you currently have in your life. It's about gratitude. It's about being present and appreciating the people in your life today. Go around the table and share at least one thing you love about everyone there and why you're grateful! It's the small things in life that make all the difference.The holidays are here and we tend to over indulge and over eat. What happens when we eat and drink too much? Well, here’s a “12-Days of Christmas” list of things that start to happen to us: 1. Indigestion 2. Heartburn 3. Bloating 4. Weight Gain 5. Fatigue 6. Brain Fog 7. Sleepiness 8. Sore Joints 9. Headaches 10. Depression 11. Erratic Behavior ....And, the Piece de Resistance 12. Button Popping Pants Want to combat the list above? Here are three weapons to add to your arsenal: 1. Be mindful of what you eat and drink 2. Stay Present: Enjoy each bite and think about what you’re doing. Don’t feel guilty. 3. Portion Control (a little indulgence is ok) Click on the link below to get the full list: http://overcomingholidaybingeeating.eventbrite.com/ Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving. *Please comment below and share with your friends.* Gobble Gobble, Betsy Karp, Founder of i adore me
 Written by: Steven M. Goldsmith
I have recently begun to focus on my self-talk, and the more I do, I realize how much I use the words “should, shouldn’t, can’t, must, have to, need.” It’s amazing how often these words come up in our daily self-talk as well as in conversations with others. Have you ever stopped to think how detrimental these words can be?
These words come from a perfectionist realm. They are basically saying, “I NEED to do this or it won’t be right. I SHOULDN’T do that, because I’ll fail. I MUST behave this way to get what I want.” One of my favorite quotes from Julia Cameron is, “What would I do if I didn’t have to do it perfectly? A great deal more than I am.”
Words can make or break us, and more often than not they break us. Why? Because we focus on what we SHOULD and SHOULDN’T be doing. When we take these words out of our vocabulary, it leaves a space for us to mess up and be imperfect. Imperfection is what makes us unique and beautiful. It’s what sets us apart from others. Why wouldn’t we want that?
We always strive to be unique, and yet we try to be perfect and conform to the “norm.” But when we decide to take out the Should’s and Shouldn’t’s, Can’t’s Must’s, Have To’s and Need’s, we can relax in who we are and let life take us where it may. We land more in the flow and ALLOW life to happen. We give ourselves permission to “make a mess,” and that is an extremely kind act.
When we use definitive words like MUST and NEED, we create inner turmoil and fight with ourselves. We wind up beating ourselves up and throwing in the towel, because we put too much pressure on ourselves. Even using these words on seemingly “small” things still has an adverse affect. “I NEED to clean my house. I HAVE TO go to the store. I SHOULD go to the gym.” These are really harsh words whether they appear to be or not.
Give yourself a challenge. Try substituting these words with things like, “it would BE BENEFICIAL if I…, I would FEEL BETTER if I…, I would LIKE TO…” When you do this, you are giving yourself permission to do things rather than turning your voice into a scolding teacher or parent. You will notice how things won’t feel so much like a chore and it’ll be easier to tackle what you “SHOULD” get done. Sounds silly, I know, but just try it. It’s a gentle shift that will make a HUGE impact on your life and those around you.
“I would FEEL BETTER if I cleaned my house. It would BE BENEFICIAL if I went to the gym. I WOULD LIKE to go to the store to finish this chore so it’s not on my mind anymore.” This is kind self-talk. The other is an attack on your psyche. Try it for the day. Pay attention to your words and catch yourself. When you do, substitute the scolding words with the more supportive, loving words. Watch how your attitude changes and makes your daily activities more bearable. It’s a practice in self-love and self-nurturing. You deserve that loving self-talk more than you realize.
***Please comment below***
 Written by: Betsy Karp
Have you asked yourself this question lately: “Who am I?” I love the synchronicity of the universe and how it all works. Everywhere I have gone in the last two weeks, the phrase “Who am I” has come up and brought forth an inner awareness within me.
I was gifted two tickets this week to see the Broadway show, “Cyrano De Bergerac.” It is a tragic love story of a man and his unrequited love for the beautiful Roxanne. Cyrano is a duelist, a gifted, romantic poet and a brilliant, passionate man. He has, however, a disfigurement that causes him terrible, life-long self-doubt. He was born with an obtuse nose, and from that moment, his own mother wanted to give him back, because of his fated flaw.
Cyrano ‘s inner self-doubt and lack of “Who am I” prevents him from expressing his need for true love. He feels that his ugly nose shouldn’t even allow him to be loved by an ugly woman.
Many of us have flaws, imperfections and self–doubt. Why is it that we hide and mask many things about ourselves? There should be no crime or shame in this, but only a true learning and gracious understanding in accepting and honoring the flaws within us.
There is so much beauty in all of us, including our imperfections. As I ask myself, “Who am I” and continually grow into whom I truly am, I have learned to appreciate my flaws and the weaknesses that make me “ME.” No one wants to be a perfectionist. Yes, it is true that we all want things to go well and have success, but there really is no such thing as being perfect.
I have been having my own sense of self-doubt and fears lately, as so much of my life is all about new ventures. I am stepping out of my comfort zone big time and challenging myself like I never have before. I am really showing up for me while staying present every day.
Just the other day I was internally beating myself up, causing a lot of anxiety. It was bringing up feelings of, “Am I good enough? Do I have what it takes? Am I worthy?" And then I had a dream that helped me to break the blocks and move forward in my own sabotaging beliefs. In my dream, I was in a beautiful Indian palace filled with luscious colors, wall hangings, pillows and velvet colored furniture, but there were no bathrooms. In the dream this palace wasn’t a great place to be when I had to go, but when I awoke from the dream, I realized I was creating the blocks within myself.
Once I was wide-awake, I realized how grateful I was to have a bathroom in my apartment. The dream helped me to let go of the perfectionism in me and to know that I am enough. I then reached within my heart and brought out my inner love for me. I repeated the mantra, “I AM ENOUGH…I AM ENOUGH AS I AM,” and as I said this, everything shifted in me.
Cyrano spent his life in denial and wasn’t brave enough to confess his love to Roxanne, his soul mate and true love, due to his heavy tormented self–doubts. Don’t be a victim like Cyrano. Be the victor of you and start to live your life today by saying, “I AM ENOUGH…I AM LOVE …I ACCEPT MYSELF AS I AM.”
When we allow our pasts and our own self-doubts to take away the beauty of self-love and all that we can be, we lose our authentic selves. When we are honest with ourselves, we look inside our hearts and find the courage and strength to say and admit our truth.
Stand up for what you believe in… flaws and all! BE BOLD, BE BRAVE, BE COURAGEUOS! Ask yourself, “Who am I?” and honor that!
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 Written by: EDWIGE GILBERT
Henry Ford once said, “Whether you believe you can or you believe you cannot, you are right." Fortunately the choice is yours. Unfortunately it is a very hard one to make. Let me tell you why. Most of the time you are not conscious that the decision you want to make has anything to do with embedded beliefs operating in your mind. There are two kinds of them, which I have named self-serving and self- sabotaging. The self-serving beliefs make you feel courageous, confident, happy and assist you in achieving your goals. On the other end, the self-sabotaging beliefs make you feel anxious, insecure and literally attack your self esteem and self confidence. In light of this awareness, if you feel good about yourself, are successful and in charge of your life, you have been blessed with the productive kind. No need to change anything, just make sure you show gratitude for your life and for all the people who live in it.
Let’s discuss now about what beliefs are and are not, and how you can make them work for you and become victorious. You see, a belief is just a thought that you hold to be true. That thought can trigger an emotion, which in turn can influence you to take an action, and it all ends up with a result. Let’s review this sequence again. There is a thought, followed by an emotion ending with an action and a result. It is a very important sequence to remember and not to take lightly, since the outcome may not always work to your advantage. That is the issue indeed. When you keep repeating the same unwanted sequence and getting the same result, you might want to stop and reflect for a moment. What is truly going on here? The problem might have to do with a thought which you hold to be true. What if you decided to challenge this belief and to question whether it is true or not? What about if you replaced your old belief? I promise, simply asking these simple questions can alter the course of your life in a very dramatic way.
Let me tell you my story:
As a little girl in the South of France, I was raised by a grandmother who believed that I was fragile and needed protection. Anytime I would venture out and try something new, I would hear “You cannot” and it would stop me immediately. Over time, with hundreds of repetitions of “I cannot,” I began to believe it so much that this phrase became my password, my worst companion. Even after I left grandmother and moved to the United States, I could still hear her voice deep inside my head, repeated anytime I wanted to show my courage and venture into the world. Not only did I feel I was cursed, but I also became very shy, without an ounce of self confidence, a true basket case. Maybe you can relate to my story or simply understand that it is meant to illustrate how a sabotaging belief can highjack your entire life. Ironically you start to believe that you are trapped. No matter what you try to accomplish, you return to the same place, to the same uncomfortable feeling over and over again. You are caught between your desire to take a positive action moving you forward, and your insidious belief holding you back. "Am I going crazy?" you ask. Are you doomed to remain a victim? Are you part of a Greek tragedy? I assure you it is none of the above.
Whether you have been struggling with your weight, hesitating to change careers, contemplating going back to the gym or giving up finding your significant other, the answer is the same. It is a three step solution.
The first step and most crucial one is to become aware. What I mean is to have the courage to reflect on your life and to trace back to the origin of your recurrent and uncomfortable feelings which are connected to your sabotaging beliefs. Let me warn you, from my experience, most of the time you will end up in childhood, which is when you will need to be kind, forgiving to yourself and others. Just know that you did the best you could. It was not your fault. You did what you were taught and the people in your life did their best as well with what they believed.
The second step of this transformational process is to imagine yourself free of the old belief, feeling confident, passionate unstoppable, moving forward towards your desired goal. To create this experience, begin to make vivid and compelling pictures of the New You that you project on your mental screen, see all the details of the person you desire to become and believe that you are worthy of feeling this way.
Step three is to declare your victory, as you immerse in rehearsing your role in this happy story. Then, when you feel you are at the peak of this emotional experience, take a deep breath and declare out loud “Victory to me, Victory is mine”. Believe that the seed of the New You has been planted and use repetition to ensure the creation of this new long lasting conditioning.
One important recommendation: be patient and be kind to yourself. It is believed that it takes a minimum of 21 days to install a new behavior in the subconscious mind. Be aware that some of those beliefs can be very tenacious, since they have been with you for a very long time. Whenever during the day you feel the unwanted feeling showing its face, simply make a fist with your right hand, take a deep breath and repeat silently to yourself three times in a row “Victory to me ,Victory is mine”. I promise it will activate the memory of your new experience and of the New You.
***Voila, give it a try and let me know your story!***
Merci,
Edwige
"We are not what happened to us, but what we choose to become"
--Edwige
 The word impulse means to act on a whim without serious regard or thought. I have had my share of impulsive behavior over the years that I wish I could take back, but people can’t move backward…just forward. The trick is learning to be conscious of what we are doing at this moment in time and what we are feeling.
I just came from seeing the movie “Flight “ with Denzel Washington. He is one of my most favorite actors, because his acting is so superb. It’s as though he just is. He has a wonderful sense of timing while staying present. The story revolves around his impulsive disorder and his need to resolve it for himself. This got me thinking on what it means to be impulsive, while addressing patterns of my own.
Do you find yourself being impulsive? Do you buy things just because you want them or do you stop and take a moment, asking yourself, “Do I really need this? Can I afford this?” What are the feelings that are coming up?
Usually when we are impulsive, we are acting out deep, unresolved emotions that we don’t want to face. When we are conscious of our actions it’s amazing what we become aware of. To need and want are two separate issues.
I have become aware of the importance of what it is that I need and what truly is impulsive. For example, I was out of socks. Most of them had holes in the toes and I was down to two good pairs. I stopped in at Urban Outfitters to buy some new, inexpensive socks, and let me tell you, they weren’t so inexpensive. I had told myself, “I am only going to purchase what I need: a few pairs of socks and that is it!”
Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a soft, romantic, pink, fluffy scarf that I loved, but I caught myself in time saying, “No Betsy, you do not need it, you have five million scarves” (a bit of an exaggeration). But the point is, I promised myself that I wasn’t going to be impulsive today.
Do you know how many millions of dollars people spend on being impulsive, buying an item just because it feels good? Or maybe it’s at the register before you check out and you say to yourself, “Oh what the heck, I’ll take that too.” But the whole point is that when we become unconscious and don’t take responsibility for our actions, major problems occur in our lives causing addictions, over spending, over eating and the list continues.
When you stop and take a moment, thinking about what it is you really do need and not what it is you want, you can stop the impulsive action and behavior. This will save you lots of money, time, better health, and improved relationships, as well as higher self-esteem.
So maybe the next time you feel impulsive to do something, take a minute, raise your consciousness and think truthfully to yourself, “Do I need this? Do I want this? Is this good for me?” You will know the answer. Be honest with yourself and look within.
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
Right now I have a lot of hope in my heart. I have hope for our country. I have hope that we can move forward as a united nation now that the election is over. I have even more, positive hope that President Obama will do what he set out to do 4 years ago. I have hope that my dreams and my passions of i adore me’s success will come to fruition. I also have a deep hope and courage within myself to keep going, never giving up. What do you have hope for?
Please enjoy this video. I hope it will inspire you as it has in me…
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
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