 Written by: Betsy Karp I was invited to “Ingredients for a Beautiful Life,” a cocktail and conversation hour at the Dara Lamb Atelier. It was an interesting evening, combining 2 of the greatest “life changers” for today’s high–profile women. The evening featured Dara Lamb who custom makes made-to-measure wardrobes for executive professional women, and Dr. Jingduan Yang who combines Western medical techniques with Traditional Chinese medicine to address health, beauty and aging issues for both women and men. They served wonderful hors d’oeuvres, but my favorite was the pear ginger tea. It was tasty and so soothing on the freezing night that it was. It was all of 10 degrees that evening, and instantly I felt the hot tea warm me up and calm me down. The two lovely Chinese women serving the tea were wrapped in pink komodo jackets, the color of unconditional love. They were a perfect representation of the color pink: gracious, lovely and filled with warm love. Both speakers talked about what they do, their passions and why they do it. The message from both was, “When you feel good, you look good, and when you look good, you feel good.“ Haven’t you ever bought a suit or a dress that just fits perfectly? You are comfortable and at ease in your body and you love the way it moves & how you feel in it. Perhaps it is the perfect color for you, enhancing your skin tone and eyes. Every time you put it on everyone seems to compliment you. It just makes you smile and feel good. That is when you know you have bought the right garment. Sometimes it pays to invest in something that fits right. Dara spoke about how many of her successful clients come back to her and praise her clothes for getting them that perfect job, relationship or having the perfect outfit for that special occasion. It’s how you FEEL in them. Remember, color has energy and will affect your mood and those around you, so use color thoughtfully. Dr. Yang spoke about how we must all learn to clear out our negative thoughts, patterns of worry and self doubt so that we can allow ourselves to feel good. He emphasized how we must take care ourselves from the inside and then focus on healthy habits, exercise, good nutrition and color on the outside. And let me tell you…as soon as he mentioned color, did my ears perk up! Dr. Yang said, “ Color raises your vibration and energy helping you to feel and look good.”
Keep on using your feelings as your emotional guide through your life. Ask yourself what feels good to you! Go and do it, stay present and remember when we feel good, we look good! So how do YOU feel? *Please comment below and share with your friends.* Have a Colorful Day, Betsy Karp, Founder of i adore me
 Written by: Betsy Karp
I was one of the speakers at the Joie De Vivre Circle I’ve been going to for years now, and I love them. They are intimate gatherings at lovely women’s homes on Fifth Avenue. I met Edwige Gilbert there five years ago. She’s the woman who started the circle back in 2001. She is charming and I adore her French accent. Over the years she has become a very dear friend. When I walked in, she said, “Betsy, let’s change the format this evening. Instead of us speaking to the group one-on-one, let’s bounce off of each other and see where it goes. Are you on board?” I said, “Yes!”
It was a wonderful forum of conversation, letting go and just being in the moment. We were a great complement to each other, bouncing back and forth with our stories and powerful words. Sometimes the best things happen when we don’t plan and expect everything to be perfect. Perfection! What a word. And if you’re not careful it can destroy you.
For so many years I wanted to have everything perfect in my world, but now the word perfect to me means that everything is perfect just as it is. I look at my life through such a different lens. I‘m not about getting or making things perfect. I am just being me and showing up, and it feels really great.
Edwige went around the room asking everyone one to share an experience about someone they love and how that experience had an impact on them. It was so real and everyone opened up, speaking from their hearts.
A lovely gentleman in the group turned and said,“ Well here is my share. I was away on a trip with a very dear friend. I carry many of my business cards with me and I hand them out to anyone I meet. My good friend, who is a psychologist, turned to me and said, ‘Why in the world are you wasting those cards on people who probably will just throw them in the garbage after tonight?’ So I said, ‘I believe that it’s better to share the love and give the cards than to have them sit in a box in your house to collect dust.’ ‘Thank you for that…you are so right. I will start giving them out. I can’t thank you enough for that message.’”
One woman said, “I gave my daughter a magic wand many moons ago and I told her that the wand had three attributes and they are:
1) This wand will be your very own fairy godmother
2) It will work if you want it badly enough
3) AND It will work in it’s own time.
To this day my daughter says, ‘Mom, that wand was invaluable. You were so right, because it all does work out in it’s own time. Thank you!’”
We all chimed in with, “WOW, I wish my mother had given me a magic wand.”
Everyone has a story and I love the one of the magic wand. I am going to get my own magic wand and let it work it’s magic in it’s own time. How about you?
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
So what's YOUR passion? Watch this video and be inspired by 11 & 12 year olds who are completing their final WOW Projects for Citizen Schools and The i adore me Kids Program. They have found their passion and used their creativity to impact their community.
Once we find our passion we can step into who we really are and what we want. There's no time like the present, so find that passion within you and bring it out into the world. We all have special gifts to share. What's yours?
*Please Comment Below*
 Written by: Katie Cohen
I just watched The Little Mermaid. Sprawled across the living room floor, I imagined that my legs were a beautiful green tail, gleaming against the ocean’s seabed. My short blonde bob had transformed into spaghetti length locks of fiery red that danced and twirled as I swam toward my father’s antique leather chair, which closely resembled King Tritons throne. Suddenly, the sky cast a dark shadow over my ocean, inviting the evils of the sea to emerge from their hiding places and to create the most violent storm. King Triton told me that if I could make my way across the ocean without stepping on any sea urchins, or without swimming into any dark holes, that the storm would vanish. However, if I failed to follow his advice, the angry storm would strengthen and destroy my entire sea world.
For several days, I did everything in my power to avoid the sea urchins and dark holes that King Triton warned me about. Whether I was playing the role of Ariel in The Little Mermaid or just being Katie, I still had an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that something terrible was going to happen if I didn’t listen to the king. Eventually my six-year old Disney fantasy and my reality became interchangeable, and stepping over sea urchins manifested into the exhausting obsession of jumping over the street cracks of downtown Manhattan. This was my first experience with anxiety. Of course, I did not understand the significance of my neurotic rituals at the time or that I was becoming controlled by my thoughts.
Thoughts. The very things that allow us to create, to grow, and to distinguish ourselves as individuals. However, when fueled by anxiety, they reveal their destructive nature, often leaving people crippled and enslaved by their irrational thinking processes. Fortunately, as the masters of our minds, we have a choice. We can allow ourselves to be consumed by our fears or we can conquer them before they conquer us. While it’s easier said than done, it is possible. Take it one day at a time. Today, I will choose to step ON the street cracks.
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 Written by: Katie Cohen
 Written by: Jacqueline Stahl
Across the street from my childhood home lived my first Mentor. She and her husband Morris drove a rusted red Volkswagen bus from Seattle to our little rural town in Connecticut in the late 70's. I babysat constantly for their two daughters and fed their flea loving cats when they traveled.
Lori taught me things that my mother wasn't experienced in. She introduced me to yoga, meditation, vegetarian cuisine and the dangers of deodorant. I watched in awe as she breast-fed her infant. She chewed apples, pears and bananas while spitting it out into her hand to feed her children.
Lori made delicious organic peanut butter and lit incense while espousing the healing benefits of massage. This Hippie Earth Mother didn't bother with fast food, body odor, bras or bikini waxes. She really didn't care what anyone thought about her, because she never seemed to judge anyone herself.
One day I caught my brothers spying on her from our front yard behind a tree as she sunbathed in the nude. She knew. She didn't care. She was free. I envied her. I could tell her anything. She believed in me.
Lori was filled with esoteric information and philosophical perspectives about relationships, Buddhism and love and I was her enraptured student. When her daughters were asleep I would tip toe into Lori's Bedroom and pull the Joy of Sex off the shelf and gaze at all the sensual positions and intimate lovemaking techniques. My heart pounded and my thighs were on fire as I memorized each page. I was physically very inexperienced, but mentally the seeds were deeply planted for my future escapades. I was building and dreaming my own mystical foundations of love and passion. I definitely struggled with my Catholic upbringing and the fear of God visiting me during my research:
“Thou shall have pure thoughts Jacqueline
and thou shall abstain from premarital sex! Amen.”
I devoured her books on Creative Visualization, Sexual politics, Our Bodies Ourselves and my favorite, Love, by Leo Busgaglia. I wasn't content with hugging the periphery anymore. My curiosity was ravenous and I began asking uncomfortable questions. Lori patiently listened and honestly answered.
I was no longer struck motionless inside my adolescent mind and body. Perhaps my new confidence was borrowed at age 14, but I was encouraged to wake up and stretch and I'm still stretching and opening my mind and my heart. Thank you Lori!
Love and Light,
Jacqueline Stahl
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 Written by: Betsy Karp
My entire family and I went to go see one of the last shows of “War Horse” at Lincoln Center in NYC. I’m not sure what all the hoop-la was all about. We found it very hard to sit through and six out of the eight of us really had a hard time keeping our eyes open. My mother and father managed to stay awake even though this was their second time seeing it. How they did that, I don’t know. So many people loved it. I found it to be painful and boring.
We went to go eat afterwards at P.J. Clarks and had the perfect table downstairs in the back. It was a round table with a red and white checkered tablecloth that sat all eight of us. I was telling everyone about the workshop I went to and how we were asked to name one thing or one person we were grateful for. Scott, the eldest grandson who adores my father, blurted out with great enthusiasm, “Papa, you are caring and generous and you always put everyone before yourself. There isn’t anybody that can say ONE negative thing about you. You are the most well rounded person I know and I love that!”
Marc, the youngest grandson, chimed in, “Papa, you are my role model and you give and give without ever taking. You are so generous, caring, hardworking and intelligent and you are the best grandfather I could ask for.“
My mom had tears rolling down her face and I saw my father’s eyes swell a little. My dad said, “See sometimes going to a bad show brings out the best in all. Thank you!”
My sister interrupted and said, “Wait! I have something to say. Thanks Dad for always being there. You are my friend, my mentor and my hero. I admire and respect you, and love you with all my heart. I am proud to be your daughter.”
So then it was my turn and I stated, “Dad you are Remarkable! You are the most devoted, dedicated and compassionate father, as well as the hardest working, honest, and warmest man I know. Actually, I think you are getting younger than older in your years and I adore you.”
All you have to do is meet my father to see what everyone is talking about. My Turkish friend Sumru recently met him and said, “your father’s warmth radiates from him and his being. He is even warmer and nicer than you described”.
My father has taught me so many invaluable life lessons and he is the one person I look up to and always want to make proud. He, in turn, makes all of us so proud and we are grateful that he is our Dad and Papa too!
Who are you grateful for in your life? Reach out and make that person feel great today too!
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 Written by: Steven M. Goldsmith
Isn't it amazing how we create stories in our lives and hold onto them? We create stories about situations and relate to those stories rather than what actually happened. And if you pay close enough attention, you'll notice that that's how you relate to people as well...to your story about them rather than who they are. Wouldn't this world be a better place if we had authentic relationships instead?
How do you let go of your stories of people and situations? You stay present; you catch yourself in the act. Try that next time you talk to someone. Look at them and pay attention to the voices that arise in your head. What you'll notice is that your story about them will come up: what they did or didn't do to you, what they're wearing, who you think they are in the world, what other people think of them, if you think they are ugly or pretty, so on and so forth. Do you really think you are relating to them with all this noise in the background? You can’t. It’s impossible.
We create so many stories about people, places and objects that we see everything through a filter. It’s like those Claritin commercials: the image on TV is ever so blurry until the person has taken Claritin, and then the image is crystal clear. Think of how much brighter things would be if we saw them for what they were. Think of how much more colorful nature would be, how much better food would taste, how much more you’d be able to actually hear what people were saying. It would be a world through a crystal clear lens. You would free yourself from the prison of your mind and truly experience life!
It’s time to start relating to each other this way or you will miss our lives completely. Get out of your head, catch yourself in your story and commit to letting go of the labels and words associated with everything. Stay present and enjoy life. Living in the world of what IS instead of the world of LANGUAGE is so much more exciting. It’s a life without fear (the fears that you’ve created that don’t really exist anyway). Everyone deserves a life like that. It’s called freedom! It’s called presence. It’s called LIFE!
*Please Comment Below*
 Written by: Betsy Karp
What are you NOT doing right now that you WANT to do? Procrastination is more fear based than anything else: fear of failure or fear of success. It’s amazing how you can do everything under the sun than do the thing you truly want to accomplish.
You can make an entire day out of errands and find five hundred things to do (laundry, going to a movie, naps, etc…), but you aren’t sitting down to complete that one specific goal. Maybe by putting some Orange in front of you, it will inspire your courage and creativity. As soon as you see the color orange it will raise your vibration into a positive state. You can also eat some orange foods like carrots and pumpkin squash. These foods give you energy. They have a lot of beta-carotene, vitamin A and vitamin C.
Ask yourself, “What is it that I really need to do and get done?” An easy way to help you in this process is to find an accountability partner. Find someone who will give you tough love and make you accountable, not someone that will lick your wounds. When we are accountable to someone other than ourselves we feel responsibility and we don’t want to dishonor our commitment to our partner and ourselves. This will help you with one stage of procrastination.
The second stage is about being disciplined. Make a schedule and find 30 minutes to work towards your goal each and every day. Persistence is what you need here. If you make this pact with yourself and honor it, everything starts to fall into alignment. Before you know it you will have completed the process.
So I’m really curious…what is it that you are going to do? Don’t procrastinate. Take charge, take action and surround yourself with orange. Let the courage and creativity of the color empower you to move forward. Aren't you ready to really start this new year?
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 Written by: Betsy Karp
"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."
- Gilda Radner
Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we all just let go and tried not to control the way we wanted our lives to turn out? I think it would. Lately I have just lived in the moment, being present and being me. I have never felt better. I don’t know the outcome of anything in my life right now--love, career, where I will end up--but I have faith in me and the choices I am making for myself. For the first time in a very long time, I can honestly say I am not trying to control anything. I am just letting life unfold in front of my very eyes. I’m actually a little surprised how I am enjoying all of this. Just being is pretty cool, if you allow it.
Yes, it’s important to have a plan and set some good intentions for what you want to achieve, but then you must have faith in yourself and the Universe, surrendering it all. The power of the universe is magical and miracles happen if you allow it. Actually miracles and opportunities are waiting for us everyday. We are the one’s that must open it up and let it happen. Where are you right now in your life? Are you controlling it or letting it go?
Try and let go and see what opens up for you. Step into uncertainty and look at it as a new adventure. Bring back the kid in you and just enjoy your life a little. Relax, let go, take a walk, do something kind for someone else, wear the color yellow and be sunny and cheerful. Bring positivity back in your life. A shift in perception is all you need to do this. If you lighten up and let go I bet you will be magically surprised as to what happens. Isn’t it time you lived your life with passion and purpose, expressing all you that you want and desire?
Make uncertainty your best friend. Be okay with not knowing what is going to happen, and let the miracles of life show you what it has in store for you. I would love to hear about all of those miracles.
*Please comment below and share with your friends.*
Hugs,
Betsy Karp,
Founder of i adore me
 Written by: Jacqueline Stahl
On the second morning of the New Year I woke up at 5:58 am and turned off my iPhone alarm, set for 6:10am. I listened to my husband breathing and my dog Shadow's breathing from across the room. I listened deeper and heard the faint sound of the television, so I knew my daughter must have fallen asleep on the couch. I closed my eyes and listened to my thoughts to see if they were any different from my 2012 thoughts.
They were.
I didn't start to lose myself in the obsessive mental lists of: “should I take a 6:30 cycle class or meditate in the living room before walking Shadow? Did I empty the dishwasher? When is my Amex bill due? I didn't look at my iCalendar or check my emails or text messages.” I didn't project any catastrophes or doubts in myself.
I kept my eyes closed and stayed with the stillness. I felt the warmth of my pillow and comforter. When I watched my thoughts fast forward to 2015 and then to 7:45 am, I pressed PAUSE and smiled quietly to myself. All I have, all I need and all I want is right here. As I savored the last few minutes of repose, I thought of what I could do to make the world a little better this year. How could I contribute?
My mornings will be different and perhaps everyone should try to begin their days with a different intention.
Start each day with a positive intention and let it guide your day and your practice, getting really clear about your motivations and how your love is the most powerful vehicle in the world. Act for the good of others. Break a bad habit and this includes all the senseless mind chatter that causes hours of anxiety.
Letting go of perfection and anger can create a shift and make a subtle and profound difference in all of our lives.
Happy New Year!
“To see far is one thing; going there is another.”
--Brancusi
Love and Light,
Jacqueline Stahl
*Please Comment Below*
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